American Idol: Is it Time to Gloat Yet? :-)

Well, kids we've reached the end of yet another American Idol season. And boy did I strike some nerves with the last blog! For the first time ever, I received HATE MAIL! Naturally, it made no sense, but I still was excited that people cared enough to comment. Even using the old "It's just a TV show" saying, yet finding the effort to post a comment about said TV Show. Here's the thing kids. Me? I have a bit of an ego problem. And when I'm right about something, I tend to get a little excited and grin from ear to ear. Right now? Confidence is at about 123% (and counting!) Because after the ridiculous Judge's one-sided commentary on Tuesday night, things did seem a little suspicious right? Well, Simon must've done more than go back and re-watch the show. I think he saw the voting tally too! But his apology was still a good time! And, I think we've done enough bashing of one contestant for an entire season. This blog will be (mostly) dedicated to the winner. But we just need to get one little thing out of the way.

Here are some quotes throughout the season from yours truly about David Archuleta (codename: The Artichoke):

• February 19th, 2008 "he will not GET IT (The American Idol Crown). "
• March 11th 2008 "Can you guys remember what I said about Mr. Archuleta? That his age would eventually show in SONG SELECTION? That there's no way he's going to win this competition? "
• April 1st 2008 "What can I say that I haven't said already? He's got a great voice, he is NOT going to win!!!!"

Ladies and gentlemen, vindication is SWEET! Our NEW.....AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!

David Cook

My Pick: David Cook
Dialidol.com's pick: David Cook
American Idol Judge's Pick on Performance Night: David Archuleta

Well, I'm not gonna lie and say I wasn't worried that the judges didn't sway the vote last night. I already had the Blog Title set up for the other outcome: AMERICAN IDOL: Apocalypse Now! Ahhh as fun as that would've been, I still got to write it anyway! But a hearty congrats to David Archuleta for getting as far as he did. He made for quite a finale. And what a great way for Cook to win it all. Watching the entire finale, I just kept thinking of how good Cook actually became over the season. He always had the skills, but he seemed to fine tune them. Yeah, the haircut helped. But something happened THIS week with his performance of U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm looking For" where he went from "Yeah, this is the guy I think should win this year" to "Yep, this is my favorite male contestant that has been on Idol." And I'm actually looking forward to his album now! Of course, the devil in me is looking forward to Archie's album too. That's going to have some gems on it! (I forgot, we're done discussing him! I'm sorry! Bad habits you know?)

So anyway, it's been a crazy unpredictable season every week in figuring out who was going to go home. But we always had that inkling that we were working towards a Cook/Archie finale. And I'm happy I was able to string together 3 picks in a row! (the ones that mattered! But man those 8 straight misses were rough!) Definitely an interesting array of talent this year too. The Year of the "ARTIST" many have called it. Brooke and Castro bringing the folk side. Pianos and Guitars abound. Some people trying to learn harmonica. Better than season 3 and 6? Definitely! And you know what? Based on how they closed the season, I'm ranking it up there right under Season 4 and 1. That was some top notch stuff. Maybe this show has a few tricks up its sleeves yet!

David Cook has been added to my TiVo wishlist. I'm sure I'll be first in line to download "Time of My Life" regardless of how bad it is. Cook turned it into an Edwin McCain'ish bearable tune! And how about that? Paula was vindicated by saying "But that isn't the winning tune!" Tuesday night (regarding Cook's performance of "Dream Big")!

Okay okay, I'm rambling and I know everyone just wants to get to commenting and congratulating me! (or telling me how awful the blog is..... ::) That means my eyes are rolling Mr./Miss. Archie-Fan Anonymous!)

Let's continue the trend from this season's Results Show Blogs and look at some of the highlights of the finale:

• Top 12 got to perform 2 medley's tonight. And the "So You Think You Can Dance" in-show promotional tie-ins were a bit unbearable. That little Chinese guy reminded me of Archuleta, though!
• Well there had to be a final 2 song for Cook and Archie. And if you want to fuse together Inspirational Ballads with a Rock twist (you know to represent both of them) what better way than to turn to Chad Kroger (the king of Rock Cheese), and his Spiderman Anthem "Hero" ? And you know what? It actually wasn't that bad!
• 98 Million votes! Craaaaaazy. Must've been from the one-sided critiques last night. It probably drove in some extra votes.
• Speaking of Craaaazy - Seal and Syesha Duet? hmmmmm That dude is ripped! The song was not very much of a vocal showcase. Oh well, no harm done. TiVo Fast Forwarding is a wonderful thing!
• The Love Guru shameless promotions. As much as I wanted to hate it, Mike Myers had me chuckling at a few of the bad jokes. Especially about Archie eventually reaching his Manhood.
• Randy's Outfit - I believe my comment was that he looked like the "Jack of Hearts." I'm sticking to it!
• Jason Castro reprising "Hallelujah" - Didn't have the same charm as the original. But then again, I think the appeal of Castro wore off after the weeks went on!
• How funny was it to watch Amanda Overmeyer go through the motions but really portray that she didn't want to be there?
• Donna Summer Medley -Pretty scary. And Come on....LAST DANCE? Since me and the future Mrs.' upcoming wedding planning is underway, any of you lucky enough to attend can be assured this song is already on the VETO List!
• Carly and Michael Johns weren't too bad. Funny that they put the two with former Record Contracts (and foreigners!) together for a duet!
• Kimmel's standup was a good time. Highlight was calling Simon's Dad Satan!
• Bryan Adams Medley was a good time. Bryan Adams's new tune? Not so much.
• I think I fast forwarded right through it, but did I catch that there's going to be an American Idol Theme Park?????? Speechless
• ZZ-Top and Cook - Awesome. That was one of those moments where I felt "yeah...this kid is gonna put together a decent album"
• Brooke and Nash was a good time too. I swear Brooke is a lost child of the 60's! (not that I was around then!)
• Jonas Brothers - in other words - future opening act for Archie!
• That crazy Chinese guy with the Cape. That was fun for about a minute, then they killed it! Especially bringing Paula, Randy and Ryan on stage. I did find it funny though that once Randy and Ryan were about to sing into the mic, the show immediately cut to commercial! As if, they are under contract stating that their vocal talent cannot be heard on the show! (of course Randy assisted Archuleta during his audition with background vocals!)
• Jordin was aiiight, but Carrie Underwood was AWESOME singing her new single "LAST NAME" (if you haven't purchased her albums Carnvial Ride and Some Hearts yet, what are you waiting for?) She is in a league of her own right now. And I was really mad that Paula did not get up to dance for it! She danced to every other crazy song!
• Okay, I know George Michael was outed and everything with the Public Restroom scandal and everything....but when did he get so weird? Carrie definitely did a better rendition of that song on Idol Gives Back. But once again, didn't reduce Paula to tears like "GM" did.

It would've been cool if they could have attempted to get all of the Idols together this year to perform something like they did last year (minus Fantasia). But Miss Clarkson and Mr. Hicks were not present this year. Hicks is on Broadway doing GREASE and Kelly isn't promoting an album at the moment! But they went back to what worked in the Season 5 finale. Pairing up top 12 contestants with stars. Last season, the Top 12 were almost non-existant. Of course, that may have been because they were awful!

Whew...well there's not much to say. I don't remember being this nervous for a Results Show since Season 4 (when the winner seemed so clear to me!) and even Season 1 (same thing). Yes, it's a TV show, but the momentum built within this blog (see above quotes and read past blogs of Archie-Wonder!) put a lot on the line for yours truly! I'm sure "MOST" of you knew it was all in good fun. There's always a contestant that gets the brunt of my jokes every season (anyone remember Lakithsha last season? Hell, even Elliott Yamin got the Mr. Tumnus Label in season 5 and I liked him!). Archie was a good kid. Maybe a little TOO good (and they thought that was Brooke! ha!), but good nonetheless. He has his whole life in front of him and a large audience to support him. But when we look back at season 7, we will remember it as the year of Unique versions of "Always Be My Baby," "Billie Jean," and "Hello." We will remember how he wowed us with "Music of the Night" and with "The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face." We will remember it as the year of David Cook.

CONGRATULATIONS DAVID COOK! You Done Well, you earned the title. My farewell advice to you is the following: KEEP YOUR HAIR SHORT!

Until Next Year folks. Where I will once again state that I may cut down on Auditions and even lengthy blogs. But we all know me too well! Hope you enjoyed my season-long ramblings and I hope you all come back next season! See you then!

American Idol: Final 2 Perform - The Battle of the Davids

Welcome to Part 1 of the Idol Finale Blog for season 7 folks. I wish we could meet under happier times! But it seems that after a season of bashing one particular contestants, I may have to go ahead and do the unthinkable by the end of this blog. (I did give myself a week to change my mind last week didn't I?) With all the boxing metaphors going on tonight, (I'm not going to say how they ripped off my Finale Blog theme for the last 3 years!!! oops just did!) I guess we can bring one more boxing expression to what happened tonight. Yes folks, I think someone threw the towel before this thing even started cooking! Thrown the fight? Took a dive? You name it! When you start off the night by saying "as far as I'm concerned the competition is over and we're just having fun" nooooooooo!!!! Don't succumb to the Artichoke, chef!!! FRY THAT SUCKER!!! "OH MY GOSH," this is gonna be one doozy of a blog! Let's get started!

For the 3 preceding seasons, I've done ridiculously long summaries of all of our Idol Final 2 face offs that led us to this point. What do I have to say this year? Read the old blogs if you want to relive the past!(Season 4, Season 5, Season 6) I will sum up by saying this. No winner has come close to duplicating the success of Kelly Clarkson (inaugural winner) and Carrie Underwood (who is now the reigning sales queen as Simon predicted). I did say "winner" because Chris Daughtry (who prematurely exited season 5) is Idol's other gem among a bunch of wannabes! (of course, in our 10 minute opening tonight they showed a glimpse of Chris Daughtry implying he was a winner of Idol with asking WHICH DAVID will follow in their footsteps!) Will either David live up to the legacy left before them by these 3? Really tough to say. I think Cook could have a decent career coming out of this, but I just don't know if America is as interested in supporting these late season Idols anymore! I'm sure by this time next summer, Archie and Mylie will be co-headlining the "OH GOSH LOOK AT MY RACY PHOTOS - Mickey and Minnie" Tour. In fact, if it doesn't happen, somehow I'm going to get the rights and make it happen! Obviously, the blog ain't paying me! Maybe my brilliant marketing skills can pay off!

Well, just because Idol ripped off my formula, I'm still sticking with it. We had a 3 Round Battle. We had Michael Buffer following the Rocky Music and announcing Cook and Archuleta in their corners (with boxing attire? seriously? come on!!!!!). For some odd reason, Andrew Lloyd Webber was back to give advice to the finalists for each of their tunes. Man, I haven't seen bug eyes this crazy since BEN on LOST! (ooh everyone excited for THAT Finale guaranteed not to disappoint on May 29th? Well I suggest you GET READY!)

I'm just delaying because I am dreading getting to the end. Let's get ready to RUMBLE!!!!

David Cook

vs.

David Archuleta

(Look, I'm still grinning!! hee hee!)

ROUND 1
Clive Davis Industry UBER Mogul picks songs for our contestants.

David Cook
Song: "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2

Well, I was just about ready to forgive Cook for making his "I'm just here to have fun" comment after I heard him begin singing one of the most popular Pop/Rock songs of all time. He even "COOKED IT" (you know...like made it his own!) a bit in the beginning with starting off slow and then picking up the pace. Granted, I've seen U2 live and they kinda do this too. But at least Cook fought the urge to let the audience sing the chorus. That just doesn't fly in a singing competition. I really thought he was great on this. And listening to him sing it and watching him command the stage, I actually began to think "yeah, I would buy this guy's album." The judges seemed to be on board with it too. Except Randy, who thought it was 2007. Paula was full of classic lines tonight, I'm just too lazy to go back and write them down verbatim! But for Round 1 she decided to use the title of both contestant's song to compliment them "You may have not found what YOU are looking for, but we have found David Cook!" and my favorite Paula line "You're in Good Voice tonight!" All in all, a great performance from the COOK MAN!

Of course, for every cook, there's a pesky artichoke waiting!

David Archa-Cheesy
Song: "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" - Elton John

I mean, what's there to say? It's a standard Idol Tune. Justin Guarini sang it to rave reviews. Clay Aiken sang it to rave reviews. Hmmm...the irony there? Both runner ups to the winner! If you want to get some props on Idol, and you have a good voice, you get Clive to pick it for you! (And for the record, I got 100% on this song on the American Idol PS2 game, yeah Archie, good job! You should get the record deal and not me!) Can't miss Paula's classic line "David, the sun will never go down on you! " I don't think I agree with the judges on this one (or Simon for that matter...crazy man said he thought Cook was gonna win on Leno, and totally went back on his word!!!) . I gave the edge to the COOK MAN.

D.C. - 1 vs D.A. - 0

Round 2
Contestants each chose from the top 10 voted Idol Songwriter finalist songs
(hmmm I wonder if that was in the contract for everyone who participated in the Songwriter's competition!)

David Cook
Song: "Dream Big" - written by don't know, don't care!

Okay, as far as Idol songs go. This one actually seemed marketable. Then again, it could've just been what Cook made of it. It was nice to see Cook on stage one more time with his crazy amp on stage with him. I thought he sang it pretty well. But you can't argue with Simon who said it didn't sound like a "WINNING SONG." It really didn't. But then Paula (maybe slipping yet again?) saying "but it's not the winning song is it?" doy!!! Paula also talked about how David had his "Song in heart, guitar in hands as we all sit ominous" ....................................................... (still trying to think of what to type next after that wonderful iambic pentameter) Granted, that wasn't verbatim but close enough! So I thought David did pretty good with what he had. What else was he going to do? A sappy syrupy inspirationally cheesy tune?

No Silly! We have Archa-puke for that!

David Archa-Anchor (i mean did you see that blazer???)
Song: "In this Moment" written by: really you couldn't pay me to look up the name and write it down!

Well we already have tunes like "A Moment Like this" and "Lost in this Moment" that have haunted the airwaves. Will "In This Moment" join them? Wow, what an awful song! All I gotta say is that my worst fears were coming true before my eyes. The Idol Finale Week is custom made for a singer like Archuleta. I mean, you have no choice but to sing an Inspirational Tune and he's been doing it all season. It doesn't matter how versatile Cook was throughout the whole season, doing amazing things with song selection, and how Archie was just getting by on his prodigious voice because everyone else was awful. All he had to do was get to the big show and then the producers were going to do the rest for him! He already had his 3rd song pre-picked during the semi-finals! Oh man, this show drives me nuts! Better song than Cook's? I dunno, just a better song for the Idol Finale. I don't know so much about for radio play. Round 2 goes to Golden Arches and his Anchor Jacket.

D.C. - 1 vs D.A. 1

Round 3
Contestant's Choice
Pick from Idol Arsenal of previous performances, or Do something new

David Cook
Song: "The World I Know" - Collective Soul

So, I know I've done a lot of John Mayer bashing this season with Archie's Audition and all and the "Waiting on the World to Change." I don't think I've mentioned much my extreme disliking of the band Collective Soul. It goes back to freshman year of high school (I think). Their first single "Shine" got so much airplay, and I never ever ever liked it. And they cashed in on the success of it by creating bland single after single. Ironically, "The World I Know" was the only single from them that I ever could tolerate. But for the final impression you're going to give voters? COME ON DAVID! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU???? I'm all about growing and showing that growth. But if you know your counterpart is going to pull out the big guns, you gotta take one for the team! I agree "Billie Jean," "Hello," "Always Be My Baby," all would have been great choices. Don't get me wrong. Cook did an awesome job with it. But I don't know. I think the kid was out of his mind! Losing the coin toss and going first didn't help at all! But come on folks...Paula did tell David "You are standing in your truth" and that means something right? And Simon said he's the nicest most sincere contestant we've ever had. Wow, and in the year of the Archuleta no less!

David Archa-full circle
Song: "Imagine" John Lennon

What is there to say? "Imagine" was easily David's best performance of the entire season. But it was from the Semi-Finals. Doesn't that mean he peaked WAY too early? Doesn't that mean he's shown absolutely no growth throughout the season? He sang the GOSH DARN HECK out of it once again and closed the show with it. You know, I don't even know if Cook sang one of his better tunes if it would have mattered. I'll hand it to the kid, he did show up to win. He sang all his lyrics (granted, there was a teleprompter), and I didn't notice his speech impediment. He wasn't annoying me too much tonight. It's really a matter of principle this point. Cook has been consistent most of the season and he's grown. Archuleta rode a straight line right to the finale, and then decided to bring his big voice to all 3 songs.

D.C. - 1 vs D.A. - 2

Simon goes and declares a KNOCKOUT 3 rounds go to Archuleta. I give him 2 rounds, but what does it matter? End result seems to be the same. Like I said, the night was always going to be tailor-made for Archie. I just thought Cook would put in a little more of an effort. And no, I don't actually think he threw the towel. Based on his tears after "The World I Know" I think he was really feeling the tune. I think he did awesome on the U2 song. The Idol song, well, he did what he could. He could've picked a cheesy song like Archie did, but that's just not his style. I think both of them sang amazingly well tonight. So it's all based on who resonated better with the judges and America. The judges have told us who THEY deserves to win based on the show. Do we agree? Well, I don't agree. As I've stated, Cook should be rewarded for his journey to this point. But life's not fair right? Afterall, the Giants beat the Perfect Patriots in the Superbowl right? And Cook was far from Perfect. Of course, Archie had always been the favorite from his performance of "Imagine" onward. So the analogy really doesn't work! Yep, you guessed it, I'm just stalling again! I really don't want to do this....

BUT....there are a LOT of Archie haters out there just like me. I just counted my text votes...I'm up to 65 for Cook so far (yikes...that was too much information wasn't it? blame the iphone! it's too easy to vote!). Are there people out there as motivated as me to keep Archie from that throne? Of course, ol' Archie has votefortheworst.com behind him too. Hmmmmm Do I let my 5 for 6 record make me get a little less risky and go with the Archie pick? Or do I put everything on the line and stick with my gut that I've relied on the whole season long? Do I dare go against the judges? Has anything made ANY semblance of sense this season? Michael Johns leaving so early? Me not being able to accurately pick an ousted contestant correctly until 2 weeks ago? What to do...what to do....

Who Won the Night? David Archuleta

Who had the best season? David Cook

Who hates Archie? Me (and lots of commenters who I expect to join me in this blog entry!)

Who hated Cook but then he grew on them? Lots of people

Who liked Archie but grew to hate him? Lots of people

Who hates Archie enough to vote for Cook as much as it takes for Archie not to win? Well that's pretty much what it comes down to isn't it America?

American Idol Season 7 Winner: (drum roll...........)


David Cook

Well, just like I convinced you all with most of this blog that I was going to change my mind. I think the same thing is going on on a larger scale with the show. They have us convinced that Archie is going to take the crown, but in a last minute shocker the deserved winner shall be honored! If he isn't? I have no shame in being 5 for 7. It's the right thing to do! 2 17 year-olds winning in a row? Not a good precedent for a show dwindling in ratings!

Well there you have it America, I have made my bed. I've been going with my gut about my dislike for Archie from the beginning. I can't back down now. If he won and I picked it now, it wouldn't even be fair to justify my record as 6 for 7 with all the bashing I've done all season! Cook deserves it, and he's going to get it! Please comment away with your thoughts everyone. And please Archie haters, there's still time to vote! KEEP AT IT! See you tomorrow night for closing thoughts of season 7.

American Idol: The Inevitable Has Happened!

"If you believe in yourself, dreams do come true." Inspirationally bland words coming from our latest castoff! And as usual, she repeated them in multiple settings. A speech at her high school, and in her SIGNOFF CLIP. Yep, I got 2 in a row! The season wasn't a total wash! But as I always said, it didn't matter if I get mini-predictions along the way correct. I predicted the final 2 quite some time ago as well as the one who shall WIN! Yeah, I'm getting ahead of myself yet again! None of this has been rocket science anyway, but sometimes I like to feed my ego! Let's slow things down and talk about tonight for a bit. Ladies and gentlemen the FINALE FACE-OFF is set. The Baby-Noise Impersonator turned Aspiring Broadway Diva has left the Idol stage in search of the Musical Stage.

Eliminated: Syesha Mercado

My Pick: Syesha

Dial Idol's Pick: Syesha

So it is to be Little David vs. Big David. Will the Archie-Boredom overtake Rocker David? Or will the Cook stir-fry the Artichoke? (You'd think I have been waiting all season to use that one but I really just came up with it now!) Well, you know my thoughts. I think Archa-crappa is a producer's dream of joining the Disney Tweener Cash Cow demographic. But the kid has had enough exposure to fulfill this wish. His lack of life-experience, his overbearing father, his forgetfulness of lyrics, his utter boredom must eventually come to end this dream of being the idol! And yes, when this happens, I will dig up comments from the Hollywood Rounds of me stating that he won't win! (when many others were under the spell of the lung paralysis drama and his amazing "child prodigy" pipes). And course, if the opposite happens I'll take it like a man! But look at my record kids! I'm 5 for 6! And I still demand a recount in the Clay /Ruben debacle. Sure, I'm not a fan of either, but Clay owned that season! I still think it was a conspiracy by the Idol producers to make the most profit from both of them! Oh well, it's all in the past. I have Kelly, Carrie, Taylor, Jordin and Craptasia all under my PICK'EM belt! (here I go with the ego thing again!) So let's go for 6 of 7! I still have one more blog to back out of my current prediction, but I really don't think I'll be changing my mind!

Yes yes...It will come down to 3 crazy songs. They will do 1 song each from their arsenal (I've already guessed that Archie will do "Imagine" which will be tough to beat, but Cook will probably do "Always Be My Baby" which was ALSO awesome.) They will each sing the IDOL Song. The question remains to if they will each get their OWN song to sing from the songwriter's competition. There definitely were some "ROCK"-ish songs in the mix that could suit Cook. And then there's bland crap that would suit the Artichoke. The 3rd song? Well, I always forget what they do with that one. I think it changes every year. But it's always that IDOL SONG that defines the winner. The question also is, if they both have to sing the same song...can they mess with the arrangement? Or does it have to be how the writer arranged it? IRONICALLY, I just received word that Blake Lewis is on the news and really upset about last year's finale because the producers would not let him remix the "CRAPPY IDOL SONG" he had to sing. hmmmmm

This does not cause me fear though because Cook has proven he can sing a song straight too. And Archuleta has proven time and time again that he has a hard time learning words to new songs! Oh well, no sense debating about it anymore. I'll leave that to our avid commenters to give their thoughts as well!

Let's talk about tonight's unintentional comedy and disasterific moments!

Unintentional Comedy
(Dedicated to David Archuleta)

• The video clip of his hometown tour: first quote from Davie "It is 6:15 AM in the Morning" ahhhhhh This is my favorite pet peeve to point out when people say it. And it just makes me so happy that ol' Archa-Dumbo made the mistake. DUDE, Have you ever heard of a 6:15 PM in the morning? Or a 6:15 AM in the Evening? dooooy!!!!
• Oh my GOSH! Ohhhh....GOSH!!!! GOSH!!!!! GOSH!!!! I mean, why didn't he just throw in an "Awwww Shucks!?" Sure I know that no one should violate the 2nd Commandment and all. But Oh my GOD!!!! (whoops!)
• David's Mayor - I totally forgot to mention this guy last night. How about that Mustache???? That takes some major skills! This guy is my hero. If I could grow a stache like that, it would totally take everyone's eyes off my prematurely bald head!
• Syesha's Mayor doing a handstand. Huhhhhh?
• whoops kids sorry....i just finished crying for a bit. Time to cry out "GOSH!!!!" again!

Total Disaster
(Props to my PS3 Rock Band Band! Word up!)

• I mentioned the following in a text tonight after the season 3 Idol winner took the stage: "I don't know if you're watching yet but god, Fantasia has to be the ugliest creature to disease Earth with her presence!" I mean what on earth was that??? And how about her rapping LL Cool J wanna-be guy on the balcony mouthing off profanity that got muted???
• The highlight though was the dumbfounded Judges during the performance, especially Simon's jaw-dropped expression!
• The choreographed disaster of a Top 3 Song "Ain't No Stopping us now!" If we wanted our top 3 finalists to dance like the Jackson 5, we would've watched American Idol in the 60's!

Mysteries Solved

• Many have been asking me what the AC stood for that David Cook kept sporting during his performances. I just guessed it was dedicated to his brother who is battling some kind of illness. (or was battling) We got confirmation tonight that David's brother's name is Andrew Cook (AC anyone???) I was still hoping for Albert Clifford (in honor of A.C. Slater - you guys know the show!)
• Revision: Well when I'm not totally right, I'll admit it! A couple commenters corrected me that David also has a brother named Adam and he is the one battling cancer. But with both initials being "AC" I could see David telling them both that it's a dual tribute! Thanks for the clarification!
• David Cook wasn't even going to audition for Idol. Crazy stuff! He was there to support ol' AC with his audition. I guess if Davy never auditioned, they producers would've fought a lot harder to keep Michael Johns in this competition. Remember him?
• All-in-all, I thought David Cook's return home was edited the best. The crying fans at both David's homes was a little ridiculous. I mean come on people! They're not that famous yet, if ever!! But showing Cook return to thank his music teacher? Priceless! (better than an edited loop of "GOSH's!!!" But hey, if I were the Idol producers/editors and I had a kid that said GOSH 50 times let alone one time!....well I'd sure use it!!)

Well there you have it America. My awesome Results show blog. No need in congratulating me on my 2 in a row. Go ahead and congratulate me for being one eliminated contestant away from being 6 for 7 in Idol Winner Picks!!! The reason for the long results show blog? Well, chances are that the blog after next Wednesday's show won't be incredibly long. There's usually not much to say after the winner is declared! (well unless it's Archuleta, then be prepared for my wrath!!) So, I just wanted you all to have one nice gem of mindless ranting before we get down to business next Tuesday! With that said, there's not much left to say. So I'll see you next week for the Already Expected ALL David Finale!

American Idol: Top 3 Perform

Hello Idolists! You'll have to excuse me if I'm a little brief and a smidge bitter tonight. Them crazy Flyboys have gotten themself in a pickle tonight going down 0-3 to the Pittsburgh Penguins. I think we all kinda knew it might happen, but now it DEFINITELY happened! I got my Idol fix during the intermission breaks. And well, those kids didn't do too much to impress me either. Sure, you'd think the ARCHULETA SAGA would be enough to keep me tuned in! I'm sure you all heard about Jeff Archuleta's (David's Dad) banishment from backstage. There have been reports of his over-bearingness all season long. But the straw breaking the camel's back apparently was ol' Archie changing the lyrics to Sean Kingston's version of Stand By Me (or something like that...i dunno! I don't listen to that crazy dude!) Funny though, since I commented last week wondering why on earth Davie was singing about "Beautiful Girls" or whatever! Anyway here's Nigel Lythgoe's response. It's all about being fair to Cook and Syesha right? Suuuuuuuure!!! So, did the no-Dad thing help or hurt Archie? Well, in the scheme of things...I think he churned out the same fluff as he normally does. Well, he also attempted to mimic a singer close to his own age for the song he chose himself.

No sense in delaying, let's get to the reviews! The 3 finalists went to their respective homes (which I'm sure we'll get more details in the results show Wednesday) this week. For their Song choices. Song 1 - Judge's Pick, Song 2 - Idol's Pick, Song 3 - Producer's Pick. Let's see what went down!

1.) David Archuleta

"Scaring the competition with my Grin"

Paula's Pick: "And So It Goes" - Billy Joel

Archacheeze Whiz's Pick: "With You" - Chris Brown

Producer's Pick: "Longer" - Don Fogelberg

Well, I can't lie. I'm a huge Billy Joel fan. So when Paula picked this for ol' Archie, I was a little fired up! But after all of Billy's drunk driving accidents and alimony payments, I'm sure he could use a boost in royalties! It wasn't too bad, but nothing spectacular. In addition to the "L" speech impediment I pointed out last week, I'd like to add to this his "HEAD NOD" (maybe more of a head "BOB") when he's singing meaningful lyrics. I believe he does this to convey to the audience how truly serious he is when he sings those words! Ahhh good times. Now when he tried to sing fellow 17 year old (well he could be older now..i dunno) Chris Brown's "With You" it was refreshing to hear him doing something from this century. But I couldn't stop thinking of him bouncing up and down singing that dreadful "You're the Voice" tune from several weeks back. Add on top of that him actually using the word "BOO" for a girl? Yeaaaah doesn't work. Song 3 was the producers filling in for dear old Daddy Archie by picking him a song from the 1800's. (yes obviuously being sarcastic, it was really from the Mesozoic Era!) I love that Simon took on some of my adjectives for ArchaCrapa Muuuuuzak. GOOEY!!!! Get out that melted Cheese folks! Oh, and what about the see through paisley powder blue shirt he was sporting? And the plaid pants he had on earlier? That was crazy stuff. I can't help but make fun of the guy, but he's obviously a lock to make the finals next week. But to win it? I'm still sticking by my boy!

2.) Syesha Mercado

"I've realized I've been more successful since I started wearing Sparkly Clothes!"

Randy's Pick: "If I Ain't Got You" - Alicia Keys
Syesha's Pick: "Fever"
Producer's Pick: "Hit Me Up" - Gia Farrell

Song 1? I just expected more from an Alicia Keys tune. Randy seemed to set her up for disaster. I know Syesha has a new-found emotional theatrical side, but living up to Alicia Keys? Probably not gonna happen. She sang it well, but she should've broken it down! Song 2? This was Syesha's "BROADWAY AUDITION" song. Brought out the chair and just started doing her thing. I think she knows she has no shot of winning, so she wants to solidify her case for doing what she loves. The judges said she failed at her chance of doing a tune that would show her off as a recording artist. And you know what? She's pretty much failed to do that throughout the competition. But as a Theater Girl? She's got it! Song 3? Disaster. The Happy Feet Song? I can't describe it better than Simon did when he said it's a song about penguins! Just didn't work for what Syesha has been doing lately. Bottom line, she has no chance to make the finale. Nor did we think she would! I'd be really shocked if she made it there against either David.

3.) David Cook

"What tune can I 'modernize' this week?"

Simon's Pick: "First Time I Ever Saw Your Face" - Roberta Flack
Cook's Pick: "Dare You to Move" - Switchfoot
Producer's Pick: "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" - Diane Warren (made famous by Aerosmith)

What else is there to say? Season 7 won't be remembered for the strongest voices to come out of American Idol. It may not be remembered for anything really. But who deserves to win this year? I still say it's David Cook. He has a raw emotion when he performs, he has a distinct voice. He has been the most original this season. He made Simon's song choice sound marketable. It was really good. Chills compared to Artichoke and Syesha's song #1's. Sure, after awhile, you know what you're gonna get from David Cook on this show. But it still sounds better than anything else, in my opinion, on the show. Song 2? Bad arrangement of a good song. I agree with Paula that it seemed to just get going and then it was over. Song 3? Great performance of an overplayed song! I just don't know what else to say about Cook that I haven't already said! I think I'll save my praises for next Tuesday as he goes head to head with Kid-Archacrap and battle it out singing the dreaded Idol Song. I'm also going to guess that if they get to pick performances from earlier this season, Archie will sing "Imagine" and Cook will sing "Always Be My Baby." But we'll see! I'm getting into my results show recap a little too early! We first need to see if this is how it will go down!

So it's no surprise what I'm going with this week. And it seems the weeks that I don't hesitate to make my choice are the ones I get right! So here goes nothing on 2 weeks straight!

Bottom 2: Not applicable
Elimination Pick: Syesha Mercado - Great run Syesha, but someone has to go home. That someone is definitely you!

What do you think kids? Is Wednesday night a foregone conclusion this week? Will you watch anyway? Does Archie still have a shot to win this thing? Is Simon Cowell hoping for a Cook victory based on his comments tonight? COMMENT AWAY! And please, pray for a miracle with the Philadelphia Flyers! See you after the results!

American Idol: So Much for My Perfect Streak!

I really don't have much to say tonight kids. Just one little tiny thing:

I WAS RIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Eliminated: Jason Castro
Bottom 2: Syesha, Jason
My Bottom 2: Cook, Jason
Dialidol Bottom 2: Syesha, Jason

I was really hoping to go the whole season not picking something correctly, but you know as the numbers got smaller, the odds got better! Jason has had it coming for a couple weeks now. And he really seemed to have given up. Even with his dialogue with Ryan tonight, it just seemed like he didn't care and he really just wanted someone to pass him a joint. I guess after awhile, these people that you think are cool, just turn out to be irritating! Sure, but let's remember Castro for the weeks that he brought us Hallelujah, I Don't Wanna Cry, Somewhere Over the Rainbow and made us realize you don't have to be the best singer on Idol to wow us on a given week. Farewell Castro, go back to where your brain doesn't have to work!

So Syesha, one we thought would be eliminated several times, has survived to the Top 3. Crazy stuff. Does she pose a threat to the all David finale? Probably not, but it would be pretty crazy if she pushed one of the favorites aside! We're just 2 weeks away from the Kodak theater grand finale. Next week the trio will hit their hometowns to a grand welcome from random people they never met!

What else was weird tonight?

• Maroon 5 and Ryan's interview with Adam Levine "Work Hard, get jaded, but know you love it!" huh????
• Bo Bice - well he was alright. He just reminded me of a better time on Idol. But kinda creeped me out with his knowledge of this year's contestants. Wait.....do people think that way of me????
• David ArchaAwkward - The kid is just so disturbing!!!! I can't help but mention him just for that! Did anyone notice the "L" thing in the clips from Tuesday Night? How about him dodging a question during the Q&A? Socially AWKWARD! They really just need to raise the entry age of Idol. If Archie waited until he was 20 maybe....he may have been digestable! But to me, all he has to look forward to now is being "The Next Michael Jackson Debacle." Especially with his rumored family structure! But that would require me to actually think Archie would EVER be as successful as Mikey. And well...that just doesn't register very well in my head!
• The opening choreographed Idol disaster! I mean, watching Cook and Castro dance around like they actually enjoyed what they were doing was "tuck your head in your lap" cringe-worthy! But watching Archuleta actually enjoying it and grooving??? DISGUSTING!
• Don't get me started on crazy Idol Band guitar guy getting the spotlight on the main stage when the Idol 4 went up to join the band. I mean, don't get me wrong, this guy is living the dream with being able to ROCK OUT every week on Idol. But who wants to see it???? Well...actually I do! I love unintentional comedy!

Saying any more about this show would be just milking things! (I think I already did that!) Go ahead and congratulate me for finally getting one right! Yeah, not too impressive with a final 4. It will be more impressive when Cook wins after supporting him basically since the audition! See you next week!

American Idol: Top 4 Perform

Look at that picture kids. Which grin looks the creepiest? Did you guess the one with his eyes closed? Yeah, me too! Anyway! Unfortunately, he's the same one that wow'd the judges and some unknown number of million people this week as he went to take some steam away from the other favorite. Meanwhile, the battle between the ones that won't win got a little heated as well. I think I'm starting to agree with some of the complaints of this season. I have been so determined to enjoy Idol this season after the horrendous disaster of season 6, that I haven't been watching Season 7 deteriorate before our eyes! Yeah, I'm still rooting for D.C. but I dunno, I think I'm just tired of the whole Idol Scene! Apparently they're in the works of revamping the show yet again for next season. And they will try to win us back YET again! All it is though is a 7 year old show that is finally showing some cracks in the armor! We enter this TOP 4 week with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Songbook open to the contestants. Sounds great on paper!
But you know, I'm starting to get the feeling that these contestants do not put an equal amount of time into BOTH songs when they get down to these final rounds and have to choose 2 songs! I'm sure they only record one for the iTunes download. Some of those round 1 songs were just disastrous! Anyway, I'm rambling how about this for a mystery? Ryan said that 3 of the contestants remaining were voted #1 at one time during their run. Well, David and David obvious right? Who's the other? Castro? Somewhere Over the Rainbow week would be the only time I could think it possible (or Semi-Finals Hallelujah week). The only other possibility is Syesha on Andrew Lloyd Webber week. Sure they had her in the bottom 2, but she did TOP the Dialidol charts, if you buy into that stuff! Oh well, who cares???

Like I said, I've given up on trying to pick an eliminated contestant, and I'm positive that this is what's going to help me get it right this week! But I'm just going to pick the person that deserves to go home. No drama, no suspense! But Ryan did remind us (as did I last week) that this is the very same week when Chris Daughtry went home, Tamyra Gray went home. Anything can happen. But it doesn't give me a warm fuzzy feeling that Cook went first and wasn't too good on song #1!

Speaking of which! Let's dive in!

(The Flyers are in the Eastern Conference Finals by the way!!!! Woo hoo!!!!)

1.) David Cook

Song 1: Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran

Song 2: Baba O'Reilly - The Who

Well, in David's defense, "Hungry Like the Wolf" was a fun song back in the 80's but it is tough to sing and make exciting! Trust me, I've tried!!!! Okay, confession time! Back in the ancient days of the Playstation 2 (oh yes, I'm on to bigger and better things with Rock Band for the PS3!), there was this crazy American Idol Karaoke Game. The very important lady in my life made me buy this crazy game and sing into a TV! While I got past the embarrassment of doing this, I then had to answer to those crazy judges! Simon was not too pleased with me!!!! I sure rocked on Extreme's "More than Words" though! Anyway, that's not the point. I just don't know why David picked it! It was just a "karaoke" performance as Simon said. There's not much you can do with it! I'm convinced he just wanted to spend more time on his cover of Baba O'Reilly. Because THAT was good stuff! Sure...stuff we've all heard before from Cook. But I'm sorry...I'll take that any day over being serenaded by a 17 year old who can't keep his tongue behind his teeth when saying his L's! I do worry though with Cook going first. But come on! Look at the competition! It happened in season 5 though. Daughtry was the vocal favorite, but there is no Taylor Hicks this season! Unless you count the Artichoke (senseless fans who are just mesmerized by the spectacle and don't really judge the performances beyond that!) Oh well, we may just have to end the blog this week if that happens!

2.) Syesha Mercado

Song 1: Proud Mary - Tina Turner

Song 2: A Change is Gonna Come

Someone has developed their own little hot streak haven't they? Sure, "Proud Mary" was a little bit too much like Syesha was performing "TINA TURNER - THE BROADWAY MUSICAL" with her mimicky dance moves and identical musical performance (except that she's not Tina!). But it was still vocally pretty much on and it WAS entertaining. And again, I still think they put a larger emphasis on song #2. So she turned in a pretty respectable number. But "A Change is Gonna Gome" wow....now that was a powerhouse vocal! I was actually quite impressed with her. Thinking about how many times she's fled that bottom 3 or 2 and survived to tell the tale. And here she is, bound for the TOP 3 now. Insane! The only thing I couldn't stand was that the pre-performance clip already told about her research she did about the civil rights movement and then how she identified with the song personally for changing over the season. And then she said the EXACT same thing on stage! But I just credit that to being lost for words. She was truly touched by Paula Abdul's comments. And that my friends...is a miracle in itself! And to have Simon side with Paula over Randy was a good time too. She deserved some praise for a very good performance. And I think she may be able to avoid that elimination this week!

3.) Jason Castro

Song 1: I Shot the Sheriff - Bob Marley
Song 2: Hey Mr. Tamborine Man - Bob Dylan

....................

Oh right...I guess I have to talk about Castro. Look, I think I've forgotten why I ever liked this guy. I guess in the beginning it was just a shocker that he played the guitar and sounded unique compared to everyone else. But now he is just biding his time until fans get sick of voting for him! Sure he seemed really into "I Shot the Sheriff" but it was NOT that good! I mean come on, picking a song because you both have dreads? Or is it because you both were stoned? I couldn't tell the difference! But Bob is a Legend, Jason Castro? just has legendary hair on American Idol...that's about it! And then the disastrous, redundant Bob Dylan tune to follow. Sure, give him credit for not stopping when he forgot the words and just laughed and hummed along calling attention to it! And then realizing that while Bob Dylan wrote some captivating lyrics for his tunes, that song doesn't really have much of a melody to captivate Idol voters! But what WILL captivate voters is when the judges all express their disgust for the performance. But I'm not playing any mental games this week! Castro deserves to go home and I'm picking him! No surprises! No tricks up my sleeve! No one else deserves to go home! I will not tolerate it unless it's the ARCH-MEISTER!

4.) David Archuleta

Song 1: Inspirational Tune that I Adlib to tell girls they are beautiful - Stand By Me - Lieber, Stoller, and King

Song 2: I want to romance these girls now that I have their attention with my ridiculous improv skils at the end of a song - Love Me Tender - Elvis Presley

So was anyone else creeped out when ol' Agriculture (yeah running out of nicknames although I hear there is some close translation of his name that comes out to being "pork chop!" niiiice) told us that he used to sing "Stand By Me" to himself in his room? Don't need any more visuals thank you very much. But I don't doubt for one second that it's true. It's the ultimate Inspirational Tune of Inspirational Tunes! ARCHIE has come home! Ugh....well I can't deny that he sang well. But I can revisit this whole "singing of the L's" that I mentioned before. Last season, you may recall me getting on Lakithsha Jonesths's and Christh SThligh's case about their increasingly annoying listhps! And one of my most famous comments was that I had speech therapy in 1st grade to cure me from my faulty S's. Well, the hidden secret is that I ALSO had issues with my L's! (keep in mind...i was 7 or 8 years old. 10 years Archie's Junior!!!) I was taught that the tongue must touch the roof of your mouth right behind your front teeth. Try it with me everyone!! "L" "L!" "EL!" "EEEEEELLLLLLLL!" Ahhhh soooo soothing to say it correctly isn't it? Now, try your L's by sticking your tongue out of your mouth and chomping your teeth! Where's your tongue? yep licking your upper lip! I've solved life's greatest mystery IDOL ENTHUSIASTS! David Goldenarchiebunker-puke-a has a speech impediment! Now try and watch him and enjoy his performances! I was irking my way through BOTH songs! And then when he goes off into his "ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL WOMEN!!!!!!" when he was singing...wait "STAND BY ME?" A song about friendship? He's singing about beautiful women???? I sooooo know he also sang that line in there when he was singing to himself in his room. Hoping one day...to be on a grand stage where he could WOO the ladies with that one! Who knew that those ladies would one day turn out to be 12 year old girls??? Ahhh good times. And don't get me started on him not ever having heard "Love Me Tender" by the legendary Elvis Presley! Or that he looked up other versions and just when I was worried he was going to pull out the Amy Grant version from the movie Honeymoon in Vegas...well spoiler alert....HE DID!!! No, he didn't mention it! But it sure sounded like it. Well, until he went off into his "LISTEN TO MY AMAZING VOICE AS I ADLIB FOR YOU ONCE AGAIN!" runs at the end of the song. And then singing his version of a crackling Dog Whistle to end the tune! Ahhhh the soothing sounds of David Archaawful now playing on a Disney Channel near you! And come on Randy! Get your crazy head out of the kid's rear end! And say something constructive! Not that the other judges were any better. At least Simon noted some faults in performance number 1. Regardless, Archie won the night on a pretty lousy night of Idol. (Could you tell by my glowing review???)

Yeah, if I wasn't so unimpressed with the performances as a whole tonight, I'd express that I might be a little nervous of what might go down Wednesday night. But we all know who should go home. And I don't think there's been a week yet in the top 12 where I've picked the same contestant 2 weeks in a row to go home. I think this is one of my faults this season! Here we go!

Bottom 2: David Cook (to scare us), Jason Castro Wildcard: Syesha Mercado

Elimination Pick: Jason Castro - Dude, just go get HIGH already! We're done with you!

Well, I hope you can make sense out of all my ramblings! I felt like I was on one long stream-of-consciousness ramble! Heads up on tomorrow night. I will be out of town and can't make any promises of when the blog will be posted! But if you don't see a blog, go ahead and post your thoughts in this one until one is up!

What did you all think of last night's show? Are we in for a shocking elimination Wednesday night? Or is it time to trim the Non-David Fat from this show? (and trim some Dreadlocks too?) See you sometime after the Results!