Ahhh San Francisco...what a town. 3rd time it has hosted an American Idol audition. the 2 times before we got Layota London, Nadia Turner, and William Hung. I think Hung probably did the best out of them! Well, tough to top that 2 hour fiasco from last night. That was some funny stuff. Tonight was pretty hysterical too. But it's getting less and less about the contestants, and more about the judges. They seem to be having the time of their life. Articles came out today saying that the show is just getting plain MEAN. Hey...maybe that's why I'm enjoying it so much! I'm all about being brutally honest, not Politically correct!
Anyways...this time...the blog will be short....FOR REAL!
Worst of San Fran
We opened up with the Opera Chick Heidi who sang very well....but when she went all pop...it wasn't too good. They tried something new....left it up to Randy and he actually said NO! There was Sean Vasquez who got a pre-audition interview and DIDN'T get in! Ahhh I think they are reading my blogs! Anyway....he was a large and in charge Manly Man who proposed to his Left AND Right ear with the largest diamond (or plastic) earings you've ever seen. Anyway...long story short...he tried to steal Opera Chick's title for him(her) self. Simon declared it as "almost non-human!"
Then there was Matt WOLFIE Paulson. Why does he go by Wolfie? "I like wolves, and everyone calls me wolfie because they know i like wolves" oh, I see. Not only does he go by Wolfie but he also thought he was the reincarnation of Clay Aiken. And he decided to prove it by singing Clay's ultra-mega smash hit (yeah, that was the punchline) "Measure of a Man." I'll leave it to Simon to sum up. Instead of voting no...he just said "HIDEOUS!"
Shalicia Carlisle - "I just realized I can sing, my voice is very different than everyone else's!" She started attempting to sing then just went into an Open Mic Lecture "CRIES FROM THE GHETTO!!!!!!" unreal. She went on to attempt the Pussycat Dolls hit "Dontcha" and then some Mary J Blige....but the exciting part came when she announced she quit her job to become a musician. Simon then offered to call her former boss back and get the job. He pulled out his BLACK RAZR with CINGULAR SERVICE (hint hint...if you want to be cool like simon...get a cingular phone so we can all text our votes in later this season. Yeah I'm one to talk. I have a black razr too!) another long story short....she got her job back. But it was pretty darn funny. But I kept thinking to myself "what has happened to this show???"
I won't even discuss the All Terrain Entertainer (A.T.E.), Marcus Phillips because it was THAT bad!
Best of San Fran
John Williams - (No not the movie tunes composer!) This was the AIRFORCE Michael Jackson.....tell me WHY....WHY.... hold up! REMIX.....Beat Box dancing machine! Sounded like the dude could sing...but he's just weird.....flat out weird. May be just what the competition needs. I mean...it's not like we're going to have another Scott Savol to laugh at! (yep...was just looking for an excuse to get some Scott Savol imagery in this recap!)
Jose "SWAY"- Guy must be good..he wears his nickname on his belt! SCORE. Did a little Ribbon in the Sky....and he was good to go. but god...stop the SNAPPING while singing!!!
Katharine McPhee - "My mommy is a vocal teacher and singer" - Well...she was pretty damn unbelievable. Definitely the best of what we saw in San Fran. I believe Simon said "some parts of that were really reaaaaaaly good." Maybe some competition for Kellie Pickler? She can take her! But this is shaping up once again to be a FEMALE dominating competition. Too bad only 6 can make the top 12. Maybe John Williams WILL make it.
There was one girl Lauren that they showed a brief clip of her singing Dixie Chicks "Sin Wagon" in some bizarre key.....and they all were in awe of her. I don't know what those 3 judges were smoking!
Speaking of the judges. There was a developing plotline tonight of Simon disagreeing with Paula and Randy on a series of contestants.
Jayne Santayona got to see this first hand. A pretty Asian girl singing "Sweet Love." I had to side with Simon and say I wasn't THAT impressed with it. BUt Randy and Paula were blown away....and she got in. But Simon got even by naming Randy and Paula "Beethoven" and "Mozart." Good times.
It eventually built up into Simon throwing a Hissy Fit...and getting in his Limo and going home...leaving Randy and Paula to judge one contestant all by their lonesome.
Man...are these auditions over yet? 2 more next week. I'll see you all in Vegas. Here's a SIMONISM to chew on until then.
Simon: It was realy bad...but I like YOU, Kelly.
Paula: Her name is Sherry.
and a Randy-ism