American Idol: Top 12 Guys Bore at a TV near You

Sorry, I don't see why I should put the effort into this blog as none of these guys made an effort at being entertaining. There is absolutely NO resemblance of star quality out of any of these guys. Yes, some did shine over others, but it's all relative compared to years past. I'm not sure what the judges and producers have done this year, but I'm sure there is talent that they turned away in favor of this crew.

Good news? We're back to LIVE Idol, and I'm starting to think that's really all that matters. It's not the performers. It's watching Ryan and the judges make fun of each other for 2 hours. And getting to see Ricky Minor wave to the crowd while he represents the band. We can see Ryan try to bond with the contestants by taking his shoes off or telling them that 30 million people are watching them trying to psych them out. Am I just getting sick of this show? Sure it's only the first night of many. I'm just hoping this isn't a sign of things to come.

Well as excited as I'm not, we have a job to do. We gotta get rid of 2 of these guys. Let's see if there's anything good we can say about any of them!

1. Rudy Cardenas - 28 - Most of us will remember him as the "JOURNEY" guy from the auditions that Simon didn't like. Well, I think most of us will be hopping on Simon's bandwagon after Rudy decided to whip out an old FORD Commercial jingle in "Free Ride" (ahhh Idol, FORD, COKE....yes yes..more things to look forward to!). I'll admit, I forgot all about his performance until the end clips and I laughed when I saw him dancing again and flamboyantly waving his arms around. Things aren't looking good for ol' Rudy.
2. Brandon Rogers - 29 - The Background singer to Timberlake, Aguilera, Usher. He pulled out a little Michael Jackson "Rock With You." What did I capture in my notes? "Eh" and "Bland." Randy threw in a "Pitchy" comment, Paula gave some useless praise, Simon summed up with "Safe and predictable." We saw the guy's audition. We know he has more to offer. PLUS, I'm not going to be wrong 2 years in a row on this one. Giddeon didn't make it to the top 12 last year. This guy HAS to make it to the top 12!
3. Sundance Head - 29 - Man, I'm thinking the producers really put a lot of stock into this guy and he is just not showing up. He seemed to be a heavy favorite and now has dwindled down to just barely making the top 24 and now he is facing the threat of elimination. His version of "Nights in White Satin" was excruciatingly awful. Pitch problems galore. He even got one of Simon's "Dad at a Wedding" comments. Just based on his audition, I'm giving him a grace period of one more week.
4. Paul Kim -25 - Dude, put some shoes on. Seriously! And I hate when right in the middle of a song when the contestants get so proud of themselves that they shout out a little "HUH" or "HA" ugh....GAG me! You're not cool! You haven't EARNED cool yet! Plus you're competing for the cheesiest show in America! YOU ARE NOT COOL and never will be! Really, "I'm never gonna dance again" ??? replace DANCE with SING...and we may sum up PAUL KIM.
5. Chris Richardson -22 - See what you previous 4 have done? I already had put Chris on my Season 6 "GAG at every performance no matter what" list and you're making me root for him now! I can't stand Timberlake clones (almost as much as I can't stand the real thing!)...but he at least brought a different flavor to his performance of Gavin DeGraw's "I don't wanna be" In my notes, I had written down that he had a limited vocal range. Simon added to this saying the song made him feel small. But he did entertain the crowd a bit, and probably just by taking a risk...he earned a spot next week. People will remember him. Still has a long way to go though. (If they don't remember him, they'll remember his Dancing Dad!)
6. Nick Pedro - 25 - Did anyone else notice that he was hunched over for his whole performance? He looked like a pathetic excuse of a man while he sang "Now and Forever." I sided with Randy and Paula on this one that it was boring and NOT MAGICAL (guess who said that). I heard a lot of flat notes. And frankly, I'm a bit confused to why Simon supported the guy. But, at this stage of the game, a Simon compliment can get you through. (I think)
7. Blake Lewis - 25 - So we finally heard the Beat Boxer sing. I'll give him points for picking Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know." Great tune. And I'll give him points for sounding pretty decent on it. He's got a unique marketing appeal to him, he's got the beat boxing in his back pocket....and his singing voice is pretty decent (although some notes were pretty rough). This was probably the best performance of the night. And the bad news is....it really isn't saying much when comparing to previous seasons. Sure, it's only one song. But you usually can tell who has the goods and who doesn't at this stage of the game. Gonna be a long season for male performances.
8. Sanjaya Malakar - 17 - Man...most of the guys are 28/29 in this competition...so to be 11 years younger has to be pretty rough. He looks like a baby, sounds like a girl (or Michael Jackson when talking, take your pick). And Simon stole my line. He kept singing " I Don't Wanna Bore you" when that's all he was doing! It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. But all the mothers out there will eat this guy right up. We'll see him sticking around for another week....maybe he can redeem himself. I was really shocked that Simon said AGE isn't a factor....yet let's go back to what I always say. When has a 16 year old won AI? a 17 year old? 18??? Should I keep going?
9. Chris Sligh - 28 - This dude has to be careful. He's riding the popular vote for now (based on all the polls I've seen) But I think he's reading too many blogs. It seems that some of the "fame" has gone to his head and turned into a bit of arrogance. Although I did like his shots at Simon about IL DIVO. Still, a little too much of that and some bad timing with jokes can sit poorly with America. He'll definitely get a pass this week. I didn't recognize the song, but I thought he sang it decently. If anything, he stood out. He does look goofy out there...and very UN-IDOL like, but I guess that's his appeal. I will say that he won't go down as another Scott Savol (as I suggested MIGHT happen). The best thing SLIGH GUY has going for him? He hates "SWEET HOME ALABAMA" FINALLY! Someone besides me has said it! I mean seriously, why is this song the anthem of like everything? Seriously, everyone goes crazy everytime it plays at a bar or a band covers it at a concert. UGH! It has to be one of the most overplayed songs in history, and it just drives me NUTS! Chris gets my vote this week just for that!
10. Jared Cotter -25- For the love of God...please stop pointing your FINGERS!!! And on top of that...please do not count to 4 with your fingers when singing Brian McKnight's "Back at One" It has to be the cheesiest thing you can possibly do! He looked so corny up there. He sounded good, but no one really knows him from past episodes, and he didn't do much to earn voters. Fortunately for him....I've already picked out 2 people worse for my picks (of course, one might debate if that's a GOOD Thing for him!)
11. A.J. Tabaldo - 22 -5 times auditioning for Idol...now here he is to bring us some song, dance, and a polo shirt with the collar up! Let's rock it out! "ALL MY LOVE" ooooh no...Paula...sit down, stop singing! Oh wait...no A.J. please stop dancing! Nooooo.... I can list some flamboyant Idol contestants of the past (right up to Rudy earlier tonight)....but this guy was cracking me up with his crazy dancing! I guess he had a good voice. That's what the judges said. But I just couldn't stop laughing. And well...that makes a memorable performance which cashes in as votes. A.J. Seems safe!
12. Phil Stacey - 29 - Okay, so I never liked this guy from the auditions. I thought he should've been with his wife for his kid's birth. He tried to justify it tonight by saying it was unexpected. I also thought it was the only reason he got through the audition. But I thought he did a decent job tonight. Again, nothing that blew me away. And I think that's what Simon was trying to say with his comments comparing him to Chris Daughtry (not the fact that he's bald too). This crop of contestants just doesn't hold a candle to years past...and I don't see them "GROWING INTO IT" either as Paula suggested. Some stuff just happens naturally. And no one impressed me tonight. But Phil will be around for another week. Let's touch on more important things though. The funny thing is ...i was trying to think of what animal he reminded me of. I finally had settled on an alien (because THEY are animals). But when Ryan said "Britney Spears" it dawned on me that that is what i was thinking of the whole time. What a nut job she turned out to be. She's not a girl, not even a woman anymore. Impressive. Phil has the whole dual sexuality going for him too having a girl's last name and all. It just seems to all tie together, doesn't it?

I always think I'm gonna get away with writing less and less with each blog. What can I say? Bad Performances make me ramble even more! Well one more thing to do....pick our 2 elimination picks. If it was up to me, I'd just vote them ALL out right now. But let's be realistic.

Who is staying? Chris Richardson, Chris Sligh, Nick Pedro (on Simon's Vote), Brandon Rogers (because I said so!), Phil Stacey, Blake Lewis

Who will America give a second chance? Sundance Head, Sanjaya Malakar

Unintentional Comedy Performance of the night? A.J. Tabaldo

Who do I not care about even the least bit? Rudy Cardenas, Paul Kim, Jared Cotter

Elimination Picks: Rudy Cardenas and Paul Kim Wildcard Pick: Sanjaya Malakar

Well, hope you enjoyed my ramblings. I will promise that the Girl's Recap will be a bit briefer, only because LOST will be dominating my thoughts tomorrow night. I will also give you a pre-warning....I will be out of town Thursday, so there is a chance there may be no Results Show blog this week. I hope you all can survive! Trust me, contrary to what you may think...there are websites out there that will tell you who was eliminated if you miss it!

Who do we think our FAMOUS IDOL alum will be Thursday Night? and With Big News??? Well it's not Kelly, because she will never be on the show again. Could be Carrie, but I'm thinking that it's LESS famous than her. And if it's anyone besides those 2? I really don't care much!

Okay, seriously I'm done now. Except that I will ask you all to please share your thoughts. Am I crazy? Was this not one of the worst Semi-Final nights ever? See you tomorrow!