Wednesday, February 01, 2006

2/1 - Austin Auditions

Ahh yes...where Kelly Clarkson was discovered. Long story short...we did not see our next American Idol featured in tonight's show. We didn't really see ANYTHING worth mentioning. And you know what the worst thing of all is? I lied....Auditions don't end until next TUESDAY! UGH! And...from the looks of it...looks like most of our serious competitors will be coming out of Boston. (well...besides Kellie Pickler!...and Paris Bennett) I'm going to bank on the fact that no one is really reading all this crap I've been writing. The truth is....the competition hasn't even begun yet. So here is the ULTRA-SHORT Auditions Recap!

Worst of Austin

Paula Braces Girl who wants to be Paula Abdul - Highlight of this was Simon actually not understanding how you can sing with Braces. "It's like a bridge!"

Cierra Johnson - sings "Oh Holy Night" awfully. Asks to sing another song. Simon says "Silent Night" without the "NIGHT"......and she starts to sing it! good times.

Randy's Twin - not too great of a singer...but we did get to hear Randy scream "My Brotha from a different Motha!!!"

Tessie Reid - Said she was compared to Diana DeGarmo and a little like Carrie. Had a crazy hairdo with long brown hair...and to braided streaks of Blonde hanging up front....(i dunno what they're called....FORWARD PIGTAILS??? I just know no one in their right mind does it!) Here...we get a dose of Paula trying to crack a joke that she sounds JUST LIKE Avril Lavigne. don't get it. Then Simon throws in the Zinger about how someone tried to stuff one too many potatoes in the sack.....I can only imagine he was making an anology to Tess's bodily shape. But that's just MEAN simon! lol. My favorite part was when she was so mad she tried to slam the door...and couldn't even move it an inch!!!

Best of Austin

Rickey Hayes - Music Major - Simon says "nicest sounding voice" not most powerful. I heard a lot of "Pitchiness" that Randy decided not to call him out on. But all of them were 100% convinced this guy was good. He must've sang another song that got edited out.

Ronnie "RJ" Norman - "People Love me, but I love me More!" Was pretty confident he'd make it....He sang "Ain't No Sunshine"....and Simon liked, paula liked...Randy did not like. He's in. I was just aiigght for me dawg.

William Makar - 16 - Okay....haven't we learned our lesson from the past? You can't strike gold 3 times with 3 16 year olds! We already have Paris Bennett and Lisa Tucker entering this competition....and they're awesome. But this guy....he's got a nice voice for a 16 year old...but come on!!! We're heading into John Stevens land. I gotta agree with Paula...this guy ain't ready! But....simon and randy let him through.

Jason Horn - Funeral Director (embalmer) - In my opinion, the only reason worth watching tonight. I thought he was pretty good. Also got a nice Zinger out of Paula saying that he should do Simon's make-up! niiiice! What song does he sing? "You Raise Me Up" .....of course he does! Well at least he has a sense of humor! That's not all...he had a pretty damn good voice too. And Randy didn't want to be left out....he asked "Do you sing when you're embalming"...but Paula wanted back in...."THE ACOUSTICS!!!!" Yeah...this guy's a top 12'er....he's got America behind him, determined to destroy the stereotype of PLASTIC FUNERAL DIRECTORS! Good luck Jason....I'm with ya buddy!

Hey..whattya know...i kept up my promise! Short write-up. I'm considering not even writing one for the Boston review...but we'll see just how good this talent is! So...see you there! (maybe)


Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention that William Makar looks EXACTLY like a young Fred Savage. And I loved his voice. I just can't see him being versatile enough to make it through all the different themes they have to choose songs from.

And about the "someone tried to stuff one too many potatoes in the sack" comment...I think Simon was talking about her skin TIGHT, BRIGHT pink pants. There were strange lines and bulges all over the place!

Mike V. said...

Yeah...Makar sang well...but I agree. Just not going to be versatile enough. On his way to John Stevensville!

As for the sack of potatoes...I have no doubt that he was referring to that. If you want to get Mr. Slezak's point of view (our Trusty TV watch guy)....check out his soapbox speech on the whole thing.,6115,1155381_3_0_,00.html

If you don't feel like copying/pasting the can also access through the links on the right hand column. (Entertainment Weekly)