I gotta tell you. I am getting less and less motivated to write this thing every week. And with a growing reader-base, I am conflicted! I am actually surprised by how many NEW viewers are getting into Idol this year. I have heard very often through this season about how people are watching for the first time and really enjoying. So it makes me wonder, have I just watched too many seasons of the show? Have they all been this bad and I'm just fooling myself? Or is it that it's just the same thing but a different year and a different crop of contestants? I would buy into this train of thought, but then I find myself watching American Idol Rewind on Sundays and reliving the Glory days of season 1 with our buddy Kelly Clarkson (more on her in a second!). If this is the first season people are watching, then I could understand the entertainment value. But for the 6 season vets who think there is absolutely nothing wrong with this season, who are you kidding? It's baaaaaad. I don't care if I sound like a sheep! There are a couple people that can sing....but, and I said this a lot last year, relatively speaking to previous seasons...if you put the best from this season up against some prior seasons it would be interesting to see who would come out on top. Actually, if people didn't become recording artists after this show it would be awesome to see an Idol Showdown between Kelly, Carrie, Ruben, Clay, Tamyra, Craptasia, Daughtry, Yamin, and all of your favorites. That would make for an exciting season 7. But with their hopes and dreams already fulfilled...kinda makes for a pointless show, doesn't it?
Okay, I'm delaying. But let's talk about something REALLY exciting. Apparently Kelly Clarkson has ended her stand-off with refusing to appear on American Idol...and hopefully is trying to make amends with the show after a rocky couple of years. Of course, she won't be gracing the Idol stage but headlining some DISNEY stage in another city DURING an American Idol broadcast. And, who are we kidding? Kelly has sold 10 million copies of Breakaway, she has a new album coming out soon and probably over 30 million will tune in for this big charity event. Are you not going to tell me that her new album "My December" won't be released the week after that event? Oh I'm thinking it's going to be close! I'm thrilled!
Ok ok ok....back to this trainwreck of a season where we are counting the ways Sanjaya can make a fool of himself and how many times Paula leaves her sentences incomplete. (oh wait...that's every season!) Only 2 standout performances to me tonight...and lots of mediocrity. When you have a week like this, there tends to be some surprises on elimination night. But we'll see what I come up with if I'm still awake after writing my reviews! Tony Bennett guided our contestants through the American Classics....here's what went down!
- Blake Lewis - "Mack the Knife" - Okay, I'll say it. I smelled a bit of cheese with Blake tonight. His hopping and snapping across the stage may have gave the appearance that this guy is a great performer. He did get the crowd into it. But all of the theatrics kinda disguised the fact that his vocals were not really on par with his competition. He was having problems with the high notes (even sometimes avoiding them all together). And the band was kinda drowning him out. I would agree with Simon that the band kinda made him sound better than he actually was. But as the other 2 goofballs said, he is one cool cat....and that's going to keep him soaring for a bit. Imagine how bad I thought the rest of the contestants were if I say that Blake was the 3rd best tonight! Are you ready for it? Let's keep going!
- Phil Stacey - "Night and Day" - Let's be honest...Phil has been a bottom 3 favorite for a couple weeks now. He had to pull out the performance of his life. The most interesting thing I can think to say about Phil right now is that he doesn't shave his head during the week! Did you see it growing in in those pre-performance interview clips? Maybe I've messed with Phil's alien-head similarities a bit too much. As it DOES appear that the guy IS in fact balding. This changes everything. I thought he was just shaving it to be cool. But...the problem is...I've already made up my mind about him. And he is just one goofy looking dude...and the performance? Oh lordy was it bad! We all must question Paula's credibility when she compares Phil to a young Frank Sinatra. I'd say he is closer to a Young Frankenstein! (my bad...Frankenstein's Monster! Common mistake!) With the joke that is Sanjaya still humoring America, Phil is not in good shape tonight.
- Melinda Doolittle - "I've Got Rhythm" - I'm going to try and go easy on Melinda, even if she looks like the crazy old lady from 227. She was 1 of 2 great performances tonight. And there's no doubt she should be in the finals. She's earned it week after week. I just hope she's on the losing END in the finals! The only knock I can give her (besides her head being too large for her body and hiding her neck) is that she keeps picking showtunes...sure we're doing American Classics...but really...what does she want to do with her American Idol victory, pending she wins? Go to broadway???? I just don't get it! Maybe she'll end up being the next Clay Aiken and release a whole album of cover songs early in her career! (Yeah, I just found out that's what his 2nd album is. What a dork!) In any case, we have plenty of time to ponder her future, because she'll be around awhile. (how did I do with going easy on her?)
- Chris Richardson - "Don't Get Around Much Anymore" - I'm confused by the judges on this one. Can they not see past Chris's surface appeal? The dude can barely carry a tune! Sure, he's all razzle dazzle with his HIP attire and Justin Timberlake Wannabe style and performance antics....but does that constitute him making an old song seem current? Personally, I would hope that an Idol winner could at least carry a tune convincingly. Maybe I missed something, but I wasn't impressed. Chris may return to the bottom 3 this week, unless I just missed something entirely from his performance.
- Jordin Sparks - "On a Clear Day" - Anyone still not on board with Jordin? She is just a treat to listen to. Maybe she's not the best contestant ever to grace the Idol stage, but for how young she is, I just sit there in awe at what she is doing. She looks the part, sounds the part and she is singing the hell out of these tunes every week. I can't even believe Simon dared say Chris did better than Jordin because he made it current! I'll take a good singer over "making it current" and not singing well any day of the week! Jordin is still my favorite to dethrone Melinda. We'll see what happens!
- Gina Glocksen - "Smile" - My notes about Gina "Pretty Good but boring." Is there anything else really to say? Well, I guess if we were Paula abdul we could say that it was "Flawless understated beautiful" or we could agree with Simon and say that she just doesn't hold a candle to some of the female competition. I just don't know what else to say about it. So I'm not going to!
- Sanjaya Malakar - "Heaven" - Well, at this point it's just more exciting to hear how the judges are going to try and critique Sanjaya. Loved Simon's approach with the "Let's try a different tactic" routine. There really is nothing they can say. It's just a waiting game. And boy was it bad once again...the dancing with Paula? The slicked hair? The white suit? the awful vocals? All of this convinces me that he won't be in the bottom 3 again! When will it end? I would say once somebody decent is booted off the show before Sanjaya is when you'll start hearing TRUE fans of the show start complaining...and then the VOTING war will begin with the Anti-Idols vs Idol Supporters....and who will win in the end? Well there's 30 million people watching. I'm going to guess 89% of the viewers don't want to see the show tampered with. You tell me who will win in the end? Until then, let's keep an eye out for billboards in the audience like "Sanjaya is my Papaya!"
- Haley Scarnato - "Ain't Misbehavin" - Haley started off on the wrong foot right from the start when she told America that she gets nervous before Simon's comments (not Randy, not Paula's...just Simon's). Randy and Paula were quite bitter when it came time for the critiques. As for the performance, I mean...who approves these outfits that she prances out on stage wearing? This is a Family show, right? It's not a strip club, right? Just checking. Anyway...Simon may have summed it up best as describing it as "Pageanty" Wasn't the worst performance in the world, but far from the best.
- Lakisha Jones - "Stormy Weather" - I had no words to describe the only remaining Lisp Sensation on the show. All I wrote down was "whatever." I tried folks. I really did. I tried to give Lakisha the benefit of the doubt, but I just cannot and WILL not get on board with this never ending disaster. She can carry a tune yes, but there are just so many things wrong with her that I can't even begin to explain. 1.) She's full of herself 2.) LISP 3.) She's full of herself 4.) Lisp .....Okay, so maybe I only have a couple things. But I do not understand the judges raving about her. I don't understand people coming up to me raving about her. I just don't get it! What am I missing America? Why is Lakisha so good? Why is she the role model that America has been missing all of this time? Where can I find this CLASS ACT that I am told that she is? I'm open to suggestions, because I just don't see it. And if I could vote for Sanjaya to stay on this show longer than her, by God I would do it. And you know what? I think it may just happen and that is when the tides will turn!
Best Performances and Safe: Melinda, Jordin and I'll throw in Blake
Worst Performances: Phil, Sanjaya, Gina, Haley
Eh: Lakisha, Chris R.
Elimination Pick: Phil Stacey - go ahead and let your hair grow out man. You might be able to come back next year as a whole different person! But this year, Haley's strip-tease techniques are sending you home!
That's it. For now, I am placing Sanjaya out of harm's way until I see any hints convincing me otherwise! That's it for tonight. Hope you enjoyed the blog more than the show, as this is my goal in life these days! Share your thoughts below or just tell me how awesome I am! I don't discriminate! See you tomorrow night for the results!