Okay, so what exactly was tonight's theme? Songs that inspired No Doubt AND No Doubt songs? You know, if they're going to have an additional 7 minutes of Idol, you'd think they could've explained the THEME better than for Ryan to say "Well, you know...we're gonna have songs from like ummm..Donna Summer....uhhhh The Cure! How about some NO DOUBT??? aaaaaaaand THE POLICE!" I mean, can you get more random than this? Ok ok...I get it. No Doubt has an ecclectic sound....derived from Reggae, 80's Rock, 70's Dance tunes and the infamous SKA music. So pretty much what they were telling us was....they didn't want to have a NO DOUBT Theme night because Lakisha and Melinda would be bored. Thank God they let them both do Disco tunes! woo hoo! I guess also the reason for the Non-No Doubt theme night....it was just Gwen Stefani there to help out and not the entire band....well because she's ditched them for a solo career. Of course, you could argue that Gwen's Ex-Boyfriend/band mate Tony Kanal or even drummer Adrian Young were reincarnated through Sanjaya's Mohawk(s)! Don't get me wrong....I'm a No Doubt fan and all, but something was really fishy with tonight's theme. Of course, it didn't stop them from featuring 3 No Doubt Songs....one from each of their albums. Convenient. Anyone want to track a skyrocket in album sales on those 3 albums starting tomorrow?
Okay okay okay...so what should I really talk about here? The performances for the most part were sub-par. Starting to become a trend! There was no crying girl tonight to keep the media buzzing....just Sanjaya's hair....and come on...this is getting ridiculous already. It's almost as if the producers are encouraging him to be an idiot! I'll stop delaying! We have a job to do, one more must go! And they are not making my job easy at going 3 for 3! Let's see what we can figure out!
- Lakisha - "Last Dance" Donna Summer - Ahhh yes remember that last wedding you were at when you got to rock out to this ditty? That was a good time, wasn't it? Now we get to see Lakisha give it a shot. Sure, it was all in tune and powerful just like any good POWER VOCALIST can belt out. But I'm getting more and more intrigued each week in the battle of the lisps between Lakisha and Chris Sligh. It's getting unbearable for me! Of course, in Lakisha's case, it could be that her lips are too big and they keep tripping over each other! But hey...she had nice boots on right? The judges were obsessed with those darn boots! She's safe this week. But again, I'm unimpressed!
- Chris S. - "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" The Police - They didn't make us wait too long to see who would win the battle of the LISPS! Now, while Lakisha was trying to say YES after her performance was over and it came out "YETHS!!!" it was nothing compared to Chris being interviewed by Ryan and saying that he needs "aths much sthleep aths pothsible" whenever he can get it! Ok ok...I'm mean. But come on! I had a problem with my s's in First grade....they put me in speech class for a couple days...and I'm fine now! Did these kids miss first grade? Anyway...if this wasn't enough...Chris's humor is getting more unbearable by the week with him giving us his Online Dating Profile "I like to knit and play the bongos"....hysterical! Oh right, I didn't even talk about the song yet and the trainwreck that was called his performance! Put aside the lisp (which is all I could hear throughout the whole song).....his timing was all off. He was singing behind the band, as Gwen had warned him about. And the little dance he was doing all across the stage reminded me of another person that graced the idol stage oh so many 2 years ago.....yes, Scott Savol's back and forth motions have returned! I'm not so sure I'd say that Mr. Sligh is safe tonight. We'll just have to see!
- Gina - "I'll Stand By You" The Pretenders - Well, now this actually was surprising. Gina has never been horrendous, but you just had that feeling she wouldn't be sticking around very long. Her performance tonight was actually really good! Now, I'll let you all make out what you want about her choice attire for the night. The fishnets were my personal fave....soon followed up by the big crosses on her boots. But she sold the performance pretty well, and I didn't even pay attention to the trainwreck outfit. (yep, I'm going to try and say trainwreck tonight as many times as Paula says Vulnerable in a night!) She definitely had one of the better performances tonight. She should be safe!
- Sanjaya - "Bathwater" No Doubt - Yes, this may be the worst song off of No Doubt's Return of Saturn album. But there Sanjaya was, singing it in front of the world. With the craziest mohawk ever. The whole thing is just a big joke now. The judges have given up and so have we. If for some reason enough people were convinced to vote for him over the real talent out there and he wins American Idol, the show will be over forever. And well, that's just not going to happen! So it's just a waiting game. Plus Paula said the dude has Gumption! He can't be all bad! Who says that??? Of course, Sanjaya really isn't even trying anymore....Randy commented on this....the kid CAN sing...he just wasn't a strong singer....now he's giving into the punchline that he has become. If we have to critique his performance, I would say that this was his worst of all of the bad performances. MAYBE....just maybe....we'll see him in the bottom 3 this week!
- Haley - "True Colors" Cyndi Lauper - It's really bad when all you can think to say about a contestant is...."well, they looked nice!" But that's all that Paula and I could come up with tonight. It started really bad with the low notes...and it really just never amounted to anything. Don't the contestants know that they have to WOW the crowd? I can't even agree with Simon that it was a SAFE performance. It was practically non-existent! But I will agree with him that it was forgettable.
- Phil - "Every Breath You Take" The Police - Well, what did I tell you all? Once Phil puts the hat on, you can really listen to his voice! Alright fine...the hat was pretty bad too, but it's better than looking at his extra terrestrial head! And it really was a fine song choice for Phil. He really sold it....didn't hit any bad notes.... And the best part was...it had Paula trying to give him some constructive advice about building character in the verses because he lives in the choruses. Paula, not all of us can live in Blueberry Pastures that surround your watermelon mansion on the coo coo ranch! Phil did well tonight.
- Melinda "Heaven Knows" Donna Summer - Ahh more Donna Summer.....Was it even possible to tell Lakisha and Melinda apart tonight? Well yes, one has a lisp and the other has no neck! I'm sorry I'm sorry! I just can't help myself! I will agree with the judges....she was vocally untouchable once again. But I just can't help thinking to myself that she does NOT appeal to the majority of people watching the show. Of course, the majority of people are still voting for her (according to the vague statistics of dialidol.com) At least she sang something that came out in the last 40 years tonight so we're improving a bit. I would've liked to see her tackle a No Doubt song and see what she could make of it. But something tells me the producers stuck certain contestants in certain genres. But hey...that's just me glancing at things from the outside-in! I'm sure I'm getting repetitive with my Melinda critiques.....Good but not for me!
- Blake - "Love Story" The Cure - Loved his Members Only/Star Trek Uniform Sweater thing he had going on. Okay, no I really didn't! I would agree with Simon that he's starting to love himself a little bit with all of these quirky song choices. Sure, I know this Cure song...and I'm sure a lot of people do....but I don't know many people that LOVE this Cure song.....they just hear it on 80's Weekends that radio stations host. It was all a tad boring for me tonight. Of course, I DID like the "air drums" that he busted out for the big drum fill in the middle of the song. That is the epitome of cool! Simon says Blake is the strongest guy in the competition...no doubt about it (and no pun intended on the no doubt reference!) But Phil outshined the dorky cool guy tonight.
- Jordin - "Hey Baby" No Doubt - Hmmm. Jordin Jordin Jordin...don't make me be right about the teenage thing catching up with you! Of all of the No Doubt songs to pick....why pick this one? Well, probably because it's the only No Doubt song that Jordin really knew. Sad to say it but in 1993 when Tragic Kingdom (Don't Speak, Spiderwebs, I'm Just a Girl) came out, Jordin was 3 or 4 years old! Rock Steady was their most recent release and music she is more familiar with. Well it wasn't HORRIBLE or anything, but the outfit sure was! A combination between a Picnic Baset and 50's Sock Hop attire. Paula thought it was hip....but Paula is also Paula! Wardrobe Malfunction aside, there just isn't much to the song....and it didn't show what Jordin is capable of. She wanted to be Fun and different....I'm hoping she didn't show her weakness in the process. But she's earned enough fans to keep her around until next week.
- Chris R. - "Don't Speak" No Doubt - Chris, I really don't ever remember the lyrics being "I don't need your reasons...but BABY IT'S THE SEASONS!" that you muttered under your breath. Ooooh wait...did you mess up the words and no one noticed? I DID!!! Yep, you didn't need those reasons a phrase too early didn't you? Oh well, besides that the performance wasn't the worst in the world....but it wasn't fantastic either. Judges Dipsy and Doodleberry loooooooved it. Simon was very very concerned about the vocal skills of young Richardson. Who knows...maybe Chris will find himself in the bottom again this week. But I think his teenage fans will vote double the obnoxious amount they already vote to keep him in the running...leaving us room for a brand new bottom 3 this week! Well since we're already discussing it...let's do the numbers!
Best Performances Tonight and Therefore Ruled out of my elimination picks: Phil Stacey, Gina Glocksen
Performances that were good, but I didn't care for: Lakisha Jones, Melinda Doolittle
Contestants that should be safe based on past performances: Jordin Sparks, Chris Richardson, Blake Lewis
Contestants that Should go Home: Chris Sligh, Haley Scarnato, Sanjaya Malakar
Bottom 3: Chris Sligh, Haley Scarnato, Sanjaya Malakar Wildcard: Chris Richardson Bonus Wildcard: Jordin Sparks
Elimination Pick: Haley Scarnato - Sorry Haley, you just can't cut it with the bigger voices in the competition. You're out!
Tough one once again. Could be any of those 3 or maybe a surprse booting of someone else. But based on Sligh's previous popularity and Sanjaya's increasing popularity, it just seems that Haley is the only one without real OR fake fans. We'll see if I go 3 for 3....or if reality finally starts to set in for me Wednesday night! I don't know about you...but I can't wait for the Gwen/Akon duet! I'll be up all night thinking about it! Well, your turn...what did everyone think? See you back here for the results!