Hollywood 2 (Day 3 and 4)

Well, there's no secret to what the Idol editing team is doing in these Hollywood episodes. They are using every precious minute they can to expose the crazy Brittenum Twins. They are not hesitating to show the drama that they would've brought to the show. The jury's out on if this is something we should be sad or excited about! We saw hints of good performances tonight by some of the hopeful idol contenders, but it was overshadowed by the Brittenum Saga. Can't say I'm too disappointed though. I'm having a hard time trying to think up creative write-ups for our good performances! (I gotta get out of audition mode!!) So let's get into the Brittenum story and enjoy their presence while we can:

One of our boys, Terrell, was so focused on getting the group together to practice, he forgot one major thing! That would be to practice himself. He went on his big speech about Elloitt and Sway wanting to sleep. And he complained a bit to his bro Derrell, who didn't even want to hear it. He even went as far as calling the situation a "Life or Death" situation. I'm sure it's a little more serious than his life of stealing cars! So the group performance comes Anthony wasn't quite cutting it, Elliott knocked it out of the park, Sway forgot his words (but inexplicably made it through). Our boy Terrell? He was inexplicably clearing his throat the whole performance and also forgot some words. Then he went on his speech about how he and Anthony were God's gift to the world and how they should be given exemptions for having an awful group. tsk tsk. Well all but Anthony made it onto the next round, even after they told Terrell he had an awful performance. Good thing they're rating ALL of their performances before rendering a decision.

Meanwhile Derrell belts out some Sugar Pie Honey Bunch and is granted a pass to the next round. But this doesn't sit well with our anti-hero. No, he must get on his soapbox and stand up for Poor Terrell who has been cut from the show. (ummm...what???) "I am very disappointed. Thank you for the opportunity but my spirit has been broken. I'm not going to crap on my talent! We were told American Idol wasn't for us. And so this is the end of the road for us. I'd like to get take my brother and we're going to leave this competition to finish our record. We'll see you at the top!" Simon's Reaction? Thank you Very much! Good bye!

Terrell, "What did you do?? I didn't get cut!" Derrell "Ummmm....I just like to talk and be the center of attention" Terrell "Well so do I but you just took our spotlight man...we're gonna have to go back to stealing cars in Memphis!!" Derrell "Ummm...i don't get it" Terrell "Well you better apologize!" Derrell "umm...what's apogilise?" Ok...that's not how it went verbatum....but it may as well have. The look on their idiotic little faces with those stylish pointy beards were priceless.

So the Twins give a public apology. Simon gets HIS soapbox supported by the crowd....announcing he's tired of the attitude. Long story short (yep...too late), They both are allowed to stay. Why would they get rid of such talent that cause so much uproar? It's a ratings dream! Well...Ratings vs Felony apparently aren't a good combination. It will be interesting to see how we see the Brittenum Twins leave the show. Will it be captured on film? Or will Ryan Seacrest announce it when the Top 24 begin to perform? Or will they just assume we know? Oh who cares! (apparently me!!!)

So who made it through? Well they spent most of the time on Day 3...and crammed Day 4's Acapella performances into a 6 minute span. Very bizarre. Well we saw a bit more of Paris Bennett again. She's clearly a favorite since she's been shown in every episode possible. The Barretsmith sisters are separated (Brooke is in, Leigh is out.) Lots of the young talent made it through too...which I still maintain is a very scary situation! Kevin Covais (16), Josh Jordan, David Radford(17), William Makar (16). But the scariest thing of all...is that they're all really good. But I'm not gonna get fooled yet. Theme nights are usually the death of these guys! I'll believe it when I see it! Mandisa made it through too. And apparently she has seen Simon's comments from the audition (we need a bigger stage) and ready to comment on it tomorrow.

Nothing else really stood out for me even though a lot of people made it past Day 3. It's tough to judge on such brief snippets of performances.

But let's be honest. The BrokeTone Mountain Trailer? Are we going too far with the BB Mountain Jokes? Anyway...they were really bad...but they had a bonding experience, and the slow motion effects, the music, and the hugging did make it a very "HAPPY" occassion (if you know what i mean - not that there's anything wrong with that!) Little Garett was such a cry baby and Matt Buckstein was there to console him "You go back to your ranch! You be a star!" or something like that. Well...hopefully those 3 learn how to quit each other. (sorry, couldn't resist!)

So no surprises again who we're meant to be leaning on at this point. They craftly did not show us all of the performances, rather put through who they like and who they want us to like. We saw glimpses of others that made the Day 4 cut to the final 44:

Taylor Hicks - Love this guy! Hopefully we get to see more of him tomorrow before his Top 24 debut. (yeah...this guy is making the top 12...he's too unique not to)
Chris Daughtry - Rocker Guy,
Kellie Pickler (I still like her too, but a little scared they didn't show her performance)
Sway - Even after the bad performance...there he is.
The good looking girl that couldn't sing that brought her sister in to the audition - Very shady....very shady.

and 39 more!!! We're gonna have plenty of time to recap these people when we get more focus on them. And I think I lost you all after the Brittenum story got too detailed! So for those of you still reading. Good job! You know how to deal with me being so long winded!

See you tomorrow when we get to see our Top 24. Then....America Takes over....sorta.

Hollywood Episode 1

I'm not gonna lie to you. My heart just isn't in this recap. Just got off another thrillride of a Lost episode and my mind is racing on how I'm going to write up that one. Let's be honest. There's not much to talk about here. We're just whittling down the talent (and one non-talent) here to the cream of the crop. Tonight we went from 175 to 99. Yay...glad they're not going to keep these episodes going as long as possible (Olympics competition anyone??). And I have been saying that we're going to have a top 25....well that was just silly folks...it's just the top 24! Makes more sense since they'll be eliminating 2 guys and 2 girls a week for 3 weeks......but let's not get ahead of ourselves. We have 2 more sessions of Hollywood to get through! Here's a list of who's made it past the 1st round in Hollywood:

• Kellie Pickler - Awww things aren't looking too good for our girl. She's never played with a band making her timing all over the place and well she was a bit nervous too. Don't fear...they're just trying to build up a nice sob story to get people to root for her once they put her in that top 24. Can't deny she has pipes....she'll make it. Will she win it all? Well...I dunno. I'm sure they'll be pushing something new this year. And like I said before, she makes us reminisce of a hybrid of Carrie and Kelly. But that's why I like her!
  
  (Speaking of Kelly...anyone see her win the Grammy tonight?? (how could you? it was airing against Idol! god bless TiVo!) She was so sincere....and emotional. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't get caught up in it. I'm so proud of that girl!)
  
• Patrick Hall - In the words of Simon he's "Clay Aiken, but likeable." I agree. This guy has a really nice voice. Hit some quality high notes.
• Lisa Tucker - This girl has to be a shoe-in for the top 12. She's one of the outstanding 16 year olds.
• Paris Bennett - She must've had a b-day, cause she's 17 now. She claims that there is "nobody this small with a voice as big as mine." I'm not going to argue. She's very short...and has some huge pipes and a grand range of vocals. It's no surprise that she's already a front-runner to win it all. But I'm going to need a little more selling.
• Taylor Hicks - aka Joshua Jackson Deniro - I really like this guy. He's just so unique. Simon says he looks like someone's father. I'm sure he's going to have to dye his hair eventually. But he's just got that curious factor that makes people want to see more. I'm onboard!
• Megan Zeigart - Lost her voice - Not a good 2nd audition...but the judges sympathized and let her through. Sounds like she has potential.
• Brittenum Twins - This guys are really good, but what's the point of talking about them? They're already kicked off the show. And they talked trash on multi-platinum selling Carrie Underwood. They're not on my "Favorite People" list anymore.
• Garrett Johnson - The Cowboy - I just don't know if this guy has what it takes. He didn't have a good 2nd audition, but we're gonna follow him into the next hollywood round. They invested a lot of air-time on this guy....so we'll see.
• And a slew of others made it through: Gina, Brett somebody, Kevin Covais (little guy with glasses), Chris Daughtery (Crazy Rocker now sideburnless), Mandisa Hundley (We need a bigger stage girl), Katharine McPhee (I think this is the singing teacher's daughter)

And, of course, we got to see Crazy Dave Hoover again. And he whipped out some Meat Loaf "Bat Out of Hell." (I don't think that was on the 12 songs to choose from...They must've done a custom job). He earned some credit back from me just because he knew that Meatloaf song. But the whole concept of him being in Hollywood is still ridiculous! And that is why Simon got rid of him.

Next week I guess we move onto the Group Competitions. I did mention Olympics competition, but I think Idol is just on fire and will burn any competition it has. That's all I got. See you next week!

2/7 - Boston Auditions

YAWN!!!! Sorry....I know it's contagious. I'll give you all a chance to stop yawning after reading this. I mean seriously...this was Audition Night #7!!! I'm not going to get on my soapbox of my distaste of the lengthy auditions that are ratings hits. We can go back and read the older blog posts to relive and re-enjoy those precious moments. Instead I'll just sum up our final audition round and take a look at what's ahead!

Worst of Boston

No real stand-outs in the bad category. There was yet another stripper that immigrated to the U.S. to strip on camera and sing Toni Braxton. Score! There was a BOSTON Patriot, James Yokely who raps a tribute to our armed forces leading to Paula having something nice to say to such awful talent! If only he could've been more "Melodous!" A personal favorite of mine was the Opera Chick singing Loverboy's "working for the weekend." Granted...this was all over the ads leading up to our viewing of the Boston Tryouts. Another gem was the guy who said he had a singing teacher, introduced us to his teacher, and then told us he trained someone else too who ALSO didn't make it into Idol. BRILLIANT EDITING! There's only 2 others to discuss.

Kenneth Maccarone - CHER 2.0 - The guy sounded just like Cher as he belted out "Life After Love." And he claimed to be able to sing like other female singers and then had the nerve to refuse Simon's advice to become a female impersonator. Apparently Kenboy was taking the rare stance of wanting to sing like a woman (some who don't sound so womanly) but be known as a man who is singing it! He won't wear a dress. Is there an audience for this market? Please post comments if you are a member of this audience. I'm just curious! Congrats Kenneth...you did leave with your Dignity...just like you wanted.

Mike - CLAY 2.0 - guy dressed like clay...guy was awful....guy had to pee....simon let him pee....guy was worse. the end.

Best of Boston

What is up with Paula and Randy letting in mediocre performers or even singers who can't hold a tone? Here's a list:

• Rebecca Donahue (twin who's sister had surgery) got in due to her good looks and marketable appearance
• Tatiana Ward sang a squeaky and bizarre version of "My Cherie Amore." Paula wanted to her to Color up her vocals. And with this constructive criticism she's going to improve? oh my.
• Ayla Brown - Basketball Scholarship girl - sang Star Spangled Banner at Patriots Game (or a football game where she wore a patriot's jersey). Had a pretty lousy audition...but they wanted to give her a shot because she looks good and she had a good resume...and was willing to accept their criticism. And...well she has a psycho Mom who was on an ego trip and was going to bust through because Simon said No. And Ayla had the nerve to say "Simon said no, actually" in a manner that she was shocked. Get over yourself! We already are!

Kevin Covais - 16 - Only talent that seemed to come out of Boston was 16 Year Old Kevin Covais (oh god...another one) who sang, surprise, Josh Groban "You Raise Me Up." The kid looked like he was 12 but had some pretty strong pipes. I'm gonna disagree with simon that only people 80 and up would like him. I'd lower it to 70. I've said it before...there's only so many 16 year olds this competition can accept. If too many of them sneak into the top 25....get ready for Junior Idol 2.0 (3.0 if you count Season 3 ugh...)

You hear the sound of that? Yes my friends, the end of the auditions! On to Hollywood week. It was fun while it lasted, and not fun at the same time! We got a glimpse of our featured Hollywood bound idol hopefuls that we have begun to know these past few weeks. Lisa Tucker, Paris Bennett, Kellie Pickler (of course!), Crazy Rocker guy with big sideburns, The singing teacher's daughter, The guy that danced with Paula, the cowboy that sings to chickens, and of course....the guy that goes by SWAY. They were all there. And I think by the time they're in the top 25, I'll be able to name them all without looking up their names!

So tomorrow, looks like we're in for some drama with the crazy jumpy guy they let in (that can't sing!! Ugh...I thought it was just a joke!) Then of course...Looks like we're going to see our Memphis Brittenum twins afterall! Should be interesting to see if they had originally made it through or not before they got kicked off the show. From the previews, looks like at least one didn't. That's all I have folks....see you in Hollywood!

2/1 - Austin Auditions

Ahh yes...where Kelly Clarkson was discovered. Long story short...we did not see our next American Idol featured in tonight's show. We didn't really see ANYTHING worth mentioning. And you know what the worst thing of all is? I lied....Auditions don't end until next TUESDAY! UGH! And...from the looks of it...looks like most of our serious competitors will be coming out of Boston. (well...besides Kellie Pickler!...and Paris Bennett) Okay...so I'm going to bank on the fact that no one is really reading all this crap I've been writing. The truth is....the competition hasn't even begun yet. So here is the ULTRA-SHORT Auditions Recap!

Worst of Austin

Paula Braces Girl who wants to be Paula Abdul - Highlight of this was Simon actually not understanding how you can sing with Braces. "It's like a bridge!"

Cierra Johnson - sings "Oh Holy Night" awfully. Asks to sing another song. Simon says "Silent Night" without the "NIGHT"......and she starts to sing it! good times.

Randy's Twin - not too great of a singer...but we did get to hear Randy scream "My Brotha from a different Motha!!!"

Tessie Reid - Said she was compared to Diana DeGarmo and a little like Carrie. Had a crazy hairdo with long brown hair...and to braided streaks of Blonde hanging up front....(i dunno what they're called....FORWARD PIGTAILS??? I just know no one in their right mind does it!) Here...we get a dose of Paula trying to crack a joke that she sounds JUST LIKE Avril Lavigne. .......................................................um......i don't get it. Then Simon throws in the Zinger about how someone tried to stuff one too many potatoes in the sack.....I can only imagine he was making an anology to Tess's bodily shape. But that's just MEAN simon! lol. My favorite part was when she was so mad she tried to slam the door...and couldn't even move it an inch!!!

Best of Austin

Rickey Hayes - Music Major - Simon says "nicest sounding voice" not most powerful. I heard a lot of "Pitchiness" that Randy decided not to call him out on. But all of them were 100% convinced this guy was good. He must've sang another song that got edited out.

Ronnie "RJ" Norman - "People Love me, but I love me More!" Was pretty confident he'd make it....He sang "Ain't No Sunshine"....and Simon liked, paula liked...Randy did not like. He's in. I dunno....it was just aiigght for me dawg.

William Makar - 16 - Okay....haven't we learned our lesson from the past? You can't strike gold 3 times with 3 16 year olds! We already have Paris Bennett and Lisa Tucker entering this competition....and they're awesome. But this guy....he's got a nice voice for a 16 year old...but come on!!! We're heading into John Stevens land. I gotta agree with Paula...this guy ain't ready! But....simon and randy let him through.

Jason Horn - Funeral Director (embalmer) - In my opinion, the only reason worth watching tonight. I thought he was pretty good. Also got a nice Zinger out of Paula saying that he should do Simon's make-up! niiiice! What song does he sing? "You Raise Me Up" .....of course he does! Well at least he has a sense of humor! That's not all...he had a pretty damn good voice too. And Randy didn't want to be left out....he asked "Do you sing when you're embalming"...but Paula wanted back in...."THE ACOUSTICS!!!!" Yeah...this guy's a top 12'er....he's got America behind him, determined to destroy the stereotype of PLASTIC FUNERAL DIRECTORS! Good luck Jason....I'm with ya buddy!


Hey..whattya know...i kept up my promise! Short write-up. I'm considering not even writing one for the Boston review...but we'll see just how good this talent is! So...see you there! (maybe)