Gonna be real short tonight folks. No need in wasting our time talking about 50 Year old Big Bird siblings, Paula teaching Simon what brushing "Dirt off your shoulders" really means (Seriously, Simon expand your music library with some Jay-Z dude), Long haired Opera Wonders, or the obviously staged BRANDY audition that was kinda funny because Randy and Simon were having a good time with it. I'm with Simon with some of these auditions. "I just don't understand what this show is anymore." But, it's the producers that give these people airtime. Do they think this is what America really wants to see? I still just can't get on board with it!
Anyway here is a summary of the so-called "TALENT" from Birmingham:
- Katie Bernard - 19 - The Squeaky Talking Voice Girl performed "House is not a Home" Man, she has one crazy speaking voice. But seriously, who REALLY talks that weirdly and then is able to carry a song? While she could carry the tune, she did get a little crazy with it and it was really nothing special. Randy and Simon split on the Hollywood decision probably intentionally to show off Paula's crazy behavior one more time. And true to form, Paula lets Katie come to Hollywood just because it will annoy Simon. Yawn... I don't have high hopes for Katie.
- Tatiana McConnico - 17 -This girl had a decent voice. Randy went as far as calling her "A Natural." Not sure if I'd go that far. I don't see this girl being remembered once she gets to Hollywood. But you never know. We all know I already make up my mind early on these young ones when it comes to this crazy show!
- Bernard Williams - 26 - "Rock With You" - To sum up his attitude in one word: Arrogant. Says he wants to prove Simon wrong that no one from Birmingham will win this year. I thought his auditions was decent. Not something I am interested in hearing, but the voice was there. Simon thinks he has a lot of potential. Paula for some odd reason thought he was out of tune.....maybe that's the other voices singing in her head? And regardless of his arrogance, in what scenario is it acceptable to use the phrase "humble pie please!" ??? Paula, I think the answer is NEVER AGAIN, PLEASE!
- Jaimie Lynn Ward - 17 - Yep, the "Blue Eyed Bombshell" T-shirt says it all. Or does it? I don't even think I remember her story correctly but it had something to do with her non-chalant tragic past where she lives with her Grandmother and her Daddy who is paralyzed. Why is he paralyzed? Well, duh, he shot himself in the neck silly! Jaimie's Step Mother (Daddy's wife) was cheating on him and Daddy caught her in the act multiple times and shot her and THEN shot himself. You follow all of that? Naturally, this guy isn't in jail. Simon's subtle eye roll (caught on my tivo) pretty much sums up my thoughts of anyone who bought the story (ahem...PAULA!!). So, did Jaime's story dumbfound you? I actually think more people were dumbfounded by Paula giving a decent synopsis of Jaimie's singing voice. Simon and Randy agreed with Paula that her voice is good when she doesn't try to power through. This causes her voice to get "nasally." "First Time for everything" right Simon? Well, it would be if the powered vocals weren't excruciatingly awful! I, personally, thought the whole audition was atrocious from the Story to the Golden Ticket. I didn't even think her softer singing was too great. But whatever. She's in Hollywood now. Maybe she has some more stories to tell before she is sent home!
- Chris Sligh - 28 - This guy I can see going through to the top 12 and then possibly even going further. He did a nice version of Seal's "Kiss from a Rose on the Grave" which made Paula act strange and jump out of her seat. But it's more of the sense of humor and unconventional look accompanying the decent (not spectacular) voice that will help out the "Sligh Guy" down the stretch. People will remember him, the judges will remember him in Hollywood, the producers are putting him on the commercials. I'm sure people are already picking him as their favorite as we speak. David Hasselhoff is already programming his Cingular Wireless Device to Text in some votes and shed some tears.
Anyone else get more out of tonight than I did? Don't be bashful. Please feel free to share your thoughts. There are a select few of you out there who do post your opinions and try to set me straight, and it is highly encouraged! We all have our opinions. Maybe there are people out there that think this is by far the best auditions of Idol that have ever graced our TV's. SHARE!
Anyway, tomorrow is Los Angeles. And, I don't want to scare anyone, but I think I may have been incorrect about the auditions ending this week. I checked my TiVo and it says next Tuesday is more Los Angeles Auditions and Wednesday is a "Rest of the Best" Auditions episode. I guess this is to please some of the people that just want to see more of the good auditions. They really know how to milk these audition episodes don't they? I did some quick math and it all checks out. After this week: 1 more week of Auditions, 2 weeks of Hollywood Episodes, 3 Weeks of Semi-Finals and 11 Weeks of the Top 12 puts us right at a May 23rd Season Finale.
When you see it all spelled out there, kinda scares you from watching anymore doesn't it? Try looking at that and thinking about it in number of Blogs to be written! Anyway, we'll get through it together! See you tomorrow in Los Angeles!