Okay, my goal tonight is to not complain about the show one time! I will just be completely positive with my critiques and very honest in stating how much I love this show and will never tire of it! Yeah, I'm creative and what-not, but there's no way I can do that! Especially tonight! Wow, what a disaster of a night! In fact, I'm starting to wonder why I even gave people hope on the top 12 night, that I might actually enjoy this season! But I can only go on so much about how bad this year's crop is, so I'll give it a rest (for now!). I'd say the only redeeming quality of tonight's episode was watching J-Lo (Jennifer Lopez to you folks not keeping up with the lingo these days!) pretend that she cared and that these kids actually have a chance in the music biz! That was a good time. Plus she was entertaining and it actually looked like she TRIED to give them constructive criticism unlike the "shake hands/hug each of the contestants and pretend to give criticism just so we can get our boost in album sales" segments we've seen this season. You can always tell when the artists actually spend time with them. (not that it did any good!)
More good news before we move onto the reviews! Kelly Clarkson's new single "Never Again" is debuting Friday April 13th! So turn on your radios or tune into your myspaces! Or you can just wait until April 25th when she performs it on the possibly 2 hour results show for the "Idol Gives Back" celebration. We also found out Rascal Flatts, Annie Lennox, Il Divo (Simon Cowell's creation), Earth/Wind/&Fire (ugh), and Josh Groban will be present for the Idol Gives Back Results Show. I mean...wow....who comes up with a playlist like this?! Didn't they learn their lesson having Earth, Wind and Fire on the show? That is NEVER a good idea! I'll give them a break on Rascal Flatts and Annie Lennox though. They're not too bad.
Okay okay...we've put it off long enough (i wish i could even longer!) But the cast of DRIVE is getting impatient waiting in the front row of the auditorium for my review (nice plug FOX. you are never shameless about your cross-promotions!) Here's how the night went down:
- Melinda "Sway" - Well when J-Lo says "Be Sexy" and Miss Doolittle says she doesn't know how....obviously the answer is for the stylists to give her the ol' Aunt Jemima Hairdo! YES! Loved it! Other than that....the performance, as Simon said was way too old fashioned. No Wow Factor. She did try her hand at being "sexy" and it was a noble attempt, but I think she forgot to try and wow us with her vocals this week. Yet the crowd still gave the girl a standing O. I think we'd be fooling ourselves if we thought she wasn't safe this week.
- Lakisha "Conga" - Gloria Estefan - Well Lakisha told us tonight that she has a gift that she wants to share with the world....this conveniently was told to us as she was wearing another cleavage bearing dress with some kind of crazy Tony the Tiger pattern on it. I'm not going to keep going on about how I don't like the girl. Tonight's performance was a classic case of a contestant being drowned out by the band. The band was excellent with the Latin Flavor tonight....but somehow Lakisha found a way to bore us anyway. I had a feeling she would have a problem with tonight's theme. But the question is...how big of a problem will it turn out to be?
- Chris R - "Smooth" - Santana featuring Rob Thomas - Man that guitar guy just cracks me up! I've mentioned this before. When these non-performer type musicians end up center-stage with the idol contestants there is a level of unintentional comedy that accompanies the moment! And they really need to do more of this! Anyway...Chris. We all know his vocal skills are pretty inferior to everyone else's, but he makes up for it with his attempts at keeping things current. The judges have reached into the well many times with this critique. I did agree this week, though. It was almost a watchable performance if it wasn't for the weak vocals. His voice kinda gave me a Maroon 5 vibe this week. He should be safe, but we'll see.
- Haley - "Turn the Beat Around" - Gloria Estefan - Wow, I never thought I'd say this. But I miss Diana DeGarmo and her bubble gum factory from season 3! She actually sang the hell out of this song. Haley? could barely make out a word of what she was saying. And Simon? Wow...how about him putting out there what everyone was thinking? Sure he does that all of the time....but I'm sure Haley didn't take the critique very well. "You have a good tactic. Wear the least amount of clothes as possible and just have fun" But seriously, it is the only thing keeping her alive in this competition. Based on this season the local radio stations have been joking that they should turn American Idol into a "Who is the Ugliest Person in America?" competition. Mean....but come on....you've looked at this crew as much as I have! Nobody is winning any beauty pageants anytime soon....well...except maybe Haley. And THAT is why she's still on the show!
- Phil - "Maria Maria" - Santana - Man...these kids really love their Gloria and Santana don't they? Well we have said the past few weeks that Phil really needs to have a great performance to stay in this competition, and he just still isn't cutting it. He did wear the HAT again though....so the bald wasn't getting in the way. The performance was quite scary as usual. He made some weird faces that made me think he was trying to be a woman again. But with Simon's harsh criticism, I am a little weary with picking him to go home. People might run to his aid. Or is it too late? There is still Haley that should go home. I don't think we'll have 2 surprise eliminations, 2 weeks in a row...so it has to be one of them!
- Jordin - "Rhythm is Going to Get You" - Gloria Estefan - Even Jordin struggled tonight. I thought she still sounded great and performed well. But she chose a song that didn't have many lyrics to it...so she ended up ad-libbing throughout the performance to show she can sing. I'd say poor song choice is what did her in tonight....she's still the best thing this season has going for it. And with that, I'll give her a pass!
- Blake - "I Need to Know" - Marc Anthony - Well I have a whole new reason to like Blake now. Someone came up with the creative poster "Shake n' Blake" making me wonder why I never came up with it myself! Other than that....the guy still bores me. I guess it was the beat-boxing that intrigued me about him way back when...now he is just a guy that is straining every week to stay in tune. Seriously, it seems like an effort each week for him. Yet the judges love the guy. Sure, he didn't have to do much tonight to have the "best song choice" and "best performance" of the night. But for me, those critiques don't mean much on a night like this.
- Sanjaya "Besame Mucho" - Well, he tamed the 'do' and grew some facial hair. And he decided to sing in Spanish. I have to agree with Randy in saying that Sanjaya is one smart guy! I still don't think he sang great, but whipping out the spanish and trying to be normal might inspire more people to vote for him. Or maybe the votefortheworst.com supporters will be confused on if they SHOULD vote for him causing a problem. I don't think that will be the case. Everyone has embraced this guy and wants to see him stay on the show. And based on the elimination show last week....he should be around for a bit more. And like I said in previous blogs. There are other people I'd rather see go before him!
Wow, finally done! Now onto the fun part. I'm 2 for 4 on eliminations and have 1 perfect bottom 3 under my belt. I'm not going for any records tonight. It's really anyone's guess again. I'll see what I can do!
Who should be safe: Melinda, Jordin, Blake, Chris
Who is off in his own world for now?: Sanjaya
Bottom 3: Phil Stacey, Lakisha Jones, Haley Scarnato Wildcard: Sanjaya Bonus Wildcard: Chris
Eliminated: Phil Stacey - Dude, just go home already! You're scaring the kids away! Go play with your daughter and her "Simon COW"
Well, that's all I have for tonight. Sorry if I'm annoying anyone with all of my negativity this season. But I just can't find anything to get excited about! How is everyone else doing out there? Feel free to let me know your thoughts as always! And see you tomorrow for the results!