If tonight is any indication of what's to come, then I have one thing to say to everyone who has been against my TEEN BASHING... "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!" Simon said something tonight that really rang home. "America must sitting at home thinking we're off our rockers!" And judging by the 12 guys we saw before us...I gotta say it's not far from what I was thinking. I mean they keep hyping up the GUYS as GREAT (they say it every year)...and then they all just fold under the pressure. It's going to be tough picking out who is going home tonight, because we have several options. What I like to do in this scenario is be scientific and work backwards! Let's recap what happened tonight:
- Patrick Hall - 27 - "Come To My Window" - Melissa Etheridge - "I picked this song because I want to show Simon another side of me" Should he really say something like that after picking a song by an OUT OF THE CLOSET performer? Maybe I just have a mind in the gutter. Anyway....the performance was OK, at best. It was just weird since this guy has been the BALLAD master...the judges were trying to support him enough to give him another chance because he HAD sung some pretty ballads. Simon begins his quest to pick the perfect breed of TOP 12 finalists and yells at Paula for judging on previous performances. SIMON....in 5 seasons...I think you've done it too!
- David Radford - 17 "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" - Queen - So he says he's singing it for the sole reason of reversing his "CROONER" stereotype. He does the unimaginable. He unintentionally CROONS QUEEN. And no no...not only did he Croon it...he played the AIR DRUMS! He tried to swing his hips Elvis style...and ended up just looking completely like a buffoon. Randy said it was flat out terrible. Paula instituted her "Paula Poodle Pound" (the 12 girls) who all loved David's performance. Simon said it had all come over as a joke and that David needs to start taking himself seriously. But thinks that the audience will like him. I didn't...I rolled my eyes through the whole thing. But I'm not his target audience. This one's gonna be a toughy!
- Bucky Covington - 28 - My advance apologies to the southern reading audience, but this guy is as "REDNECK" as they come! Please correct me if I'm wrong! He brought his Posse (I can only assume his parents/family) who were sporting "I HEART BUCKY" t-shirts... So he sang "Simple Man" by Lynard Skynard (of course he did). I had written down the question "is there such a thing as TOO Raspy?" Randy was thinking along the same lines. This guy was just forcing his Southern-Rock edge on the crowd...and that's exactly what it sounded like...FORCED. Paula supported the guy as always..and while Simon likes Bucky he thinks that there are 1000's of bars with someone like him singing away. I dunno..judging by the crowd reaction, I don't think people were too into his performance. And once again...I wasn't either.
- William Makar - 16 - "I want you back" - Jackson 5 - Well...he was lively on stage, he sang the song note for note, word for word. He tried to dance like Mike (Randy pointed out that he couldn't!) and the ladies ate it up. And alas, we get to where he's going to survive. The ladies love this little guy. That's why I picked him initially to be one of the 16 year olds that move on. I'll admit...he was good. But nothing earth shattering in my opinion. The judges began to show some of the "behind the scenes" colors of Idol during William's critique. Simon said that William is a nice looking kid with an Average voice which set Paula off. Simon said there was a chance to get some really good talent on the show and with Randy and Paula talking up the hotties with no voice...they're ruining the show. Maybe it's just me looking a little too much into things, but it seems like Simon implied by this that in past seasons; this was intentionally done because they did NOT have the talent. hmmmmmmm
- Jose "Sway" Penala - "Reasons" Earth, Wind, and Fire - Maybe we should just call him Falsetto boy. These judges have kicked people out in the auditions for singing like Sway did tonight. But now they LOVE it? Okay...so he proved he can sing for a long period of time in the Falsetto voice....and he sure did hit one crazy high pitched note. But Randy and Paula are really smokin something good if they thought that performance was GOOD! I guess it was aight...maybe enough to pull through till next week. I did have him as a top 12 candidate, so we'll see...I wasn't impressed...and neither was Simon calling it all "too pimpy"
- Chris Daughtry - 26 - "Wanted Dead or Alive" - Bon Jovi - More flaming backgrounds, but at least these weren't the same cheesy ones from the Mandisa and Kimberly Locke performances. Still cheesy....why am I thinking of Burger King all of a sudden? mmmm bacon. Anyways...this without a doubt was the first GREAT performance of the night. He actually has an IDOL-WORTHY voice and just needs to work on his performance skills. Well the judges things he needs it more than I do. I think it'll come to him. He's got the goods. And apparently he's made some decent song choices along the way. We didn't see them all, but I'm looking forward to hearing him in the Top 12.
- Kevin Covais - 16 - "One Last Cry" Brian McKnight - "Ever since I was 8...I've loved Brian"....ok...dude..it's been 8 years...get over it! I don't know what it is, I cannot get on board with this guy. Maybe because he just doesn't look the IDOL part. Maybe I'm so shallow that I've been brainwashed by the American Capitalistic Music Marketing scene and just know that this guy will never survive out there....or in this competition. He's got a great voice...but to me he seems TIMID and I see fear in his eyes. Paula and Randy translate this as "HE'S a REAL person!" Whatever! Then give me FAKE! Simon upped Kevin's audience age to 90 and hard of hearing. Good times. And if Simon keeps that up...we're going to see Kevin in this competition for awhile because people just feel bad for him. Moms and Female Idol finalists want to pinch his little cheeks. ugh..spare me. He's TOO young and TOO wrong for this competition! That being said, he won't be going home just yet.
- Giddeon McKinney - 17 - Memphis TN "Shout" - Preacher Boy! - Alright..I already said this guy has a golden ticket to the top 12. And I just can't say why! Maybe it's his.....smile! Maybe it's his bright colored shirts?? who knows? But I'm telling you, there is no way this guy won't make the top 12! That being said...I don't like him. lol. But he did an alright performance of "Shout!" Very reminiscent of the performance in animal house...old school like that. And well man...come on...he has "IT!" He already told us! Simon clearly was not in a good mood at this point and told him that he didn't like his smile and that it was a Chippendale warm-up act...leading to the homophobic banter between Ryan and Simon. Whatever, this guy didn't do enough to impress me to talk about him more. He's safe.
- Elliott Yamin - 27 - "If you Really Love Me" Stevie W - I had said that I preferred this guy to the crooners but didn't think he'd fit in the top 12. Maybe he'll be able to switch with Sway because this guy does have a pretty damn good voice. But here's a question...do any Dentists out there have the ability to transform his teeth within weeks? Because if I can notice them, they have to be God Awful! Anyways...this guy is good and is safe and if there was any question...look to Simon for reassurance "in 5 seasons, Best male vocalist we ever had"
- Bobby Bennett - "Copa Cabana" - Barry Manilow - This performance was a joke. Too much ridiculous dancing, too much winking, too much pointing, too much growling "At the CWWWWWWROWLLLLLLLLOOOOOOPA Copa Cabana!" I mean...who does that??? I know I know...Bobby does!!! And boy does this guy love Barry Manilow. This is the point where Simon made his comment about America thinking the judges have finally lost it. (well..the 2 besides Paula...she lost it long before!) I mean...it was atrocious! Just rewind your TiVo's and listen to the applause after his performance. Keep listening...you missed it! I think everyone was more concerned about if Barry Manilow survived listening to it than remembering to politely clap! Simply AWFUL! But Paula apparently thinks Bobby could sing "Old MacDonald had a 'Frickin' Farm" if he wanted to. Remember when I said Paula had lost it already?
- Ace Young - 25 - "Father Figure" George Michael - Wow...what a song choice...didn't know he had it in him. To still pick a George Michael song in this day and age...you have to be A.) Hot, B.) Able to be taken seriously, and C.) Comfortable with your sexuality. Well this Ace guy is one smooth cat...and one of those rare occasions where a straight guy can say..."damn that guy is good looking"....(ok...I'm taking it back!! no I didn't say it!!!!) Anyways...with the help of my lady friends...I am able to say that he fits all 3 of those points I brought up. And he was just flat out GOOD. Randy went into his whole speech about how they have had guys working the camera in the past (that thought they could work the camera)...except ACE really could! Paula said that all of her MALE friends were probably passing out at home. That was actually funny. Get it? Paula's a dancer and she probably has a lot of male dancer friends? Get it!?!?! it's funny! Leave me alone! Simon went ahead and plugged his other show by saying that Ace has "what we like to call...the 'X-Factor'" Not the best vocals...but something extra special that is intriguing...brilliant song choice you will sail through to the top 12. (that was me and Simon saying that together)
- Taylor Hicks - 29 -Birmingham, AL "Levon" -Bernie Taupin/Elton John - Love that he mentioned Bernie too who actually writes Elton's lyrics. A True musician we got here. I love this guy. He's just so unique and he just loves music. And believe it or not...I wrote all of that before the 3 judges even started blabbing on about the same thing. Simon said he got the most comments about Taylor than of any other contestant. It's the guy I've been talking most about (besides my support for Kellie who won't be going Very far!). He did well with Levon, but I'd like to hear him do something with a little more soul so we can see this guy get down. But there's just something special about him...and we're going to see him for a long time to come...and thank God for that! like I said before...FINALLY a GUY TO ROOT FOR! And he got my votes tonight.
Ahh the fun part. I still haven't decided who to vote off! Well, let's figure this out. Who are shoe-ins for the top 12 at this point? Taylor, Ace, Elliott, Chris, Giddeon (I'm telling you..he is! lol) There's only one spot left and 7 people!
Okay so who's on the fence? William Makar, Sway
Who may make in in accidentally? Kevin Covais
Who else is out there? Patrick Hall, David Radford
Who should not make it, no way on God's Green Earth? Bucky, Bobby
Who Cares about ANY of these guys? Everybody but me
Alright, well there's really no easy way to guess the 2 that are going home. But I'm going to try it anyway. Bobby is a definite. If he survives this week...spend all of your money because the apocalypse will be arriving soon. I want to say Bucky will be leaving with him, but he has that redneck likability factor that may interest people for a couple weeks. So I'm going to go with the guy that gave the most forgettable performance of the night and also said "It's tough going first."
Elimination Picks: Bobby Bennett, Patrick Hall Wildcard Pick: David Radford
Bonus Wildcard: Bucky
Wow...that was tough. I would've put Radford as a sure thing, but Simon had to go ahead and say that America will like him. I mean..he was ridiculous out there! But much more memorable and people will be more willing to give him a 2nd chance over Patrick. We'll see how things go. I'm rarely 100% right on these things, but you'll always hear from me when I am! So this is the first week where I will not be doing a blog for EVERY show. Those who have read my recaps before know that I do NOT do Results Show Recaps! So enjoy the ridiculous hour of nonsense tomorrow night (or tonight, depending when you are reading it). And I'll see you next week for 2 more lovely long recaps!