American Idol: Final 3 Perform

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Simon Cowell!!!! (Randy: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!) .......................I have no words It has become the most annoying thing on Idol I think. More annoying than Paula. But Randy has become a child in front of our very eyes! Anyway, I won't focus on this. Just had to get it out of my system. But at least we could get down to business this week without having to worry about the sleazy exploits of the Balding Rocker and his cheating ways. No folks, there weren't many Mic Stands to look at tonight. Molly the Mic Stand has officially gone into mourning. And what a relief it was to not hear Chris this week! And of course, now that Chris is out of the competition, Simon all of a sudden declared his winner today. That's right, we can all stop watching folks! Taylor Hicks is going to win American Idol! WAY to go out on a limb there Simon! Let's wait until all of the possible threats are out of the competition, then pick a winner! shall we? Ok, well I'm not one to talk. But this competition is far from over, but there should be no surprises this week on who goes home. And with that...let's do what we do best! RECAP!!!

3 Songs were performed by the Three remaining finalists:

• Song #1 - Industry Mogul Clive Davis unwisely chooses tunes that awfully showcase our contestants.
• Song #2 - The judges pick pretty decent songs and show the contestants the songs we've wanted to hear them sing since day 1.
• Song #3 - The contestants are given one more chance to pick their own tune and show us what they're made of.

So how did they do? Let's find out!

Elliott Yamin

The Little Fawn that Could

• Song#1: "Open Arms" - Journey
• Song #2: "What You Won't Do for Love" - Bobby Caldwell (Paula's Pick)
• Song #3: "I Believe to My Soul" - Ray Charles (Donny Hathaway rendition)

Well, the producers didn't do Elliott any favors by putting the guy first. Man, what a road this guy has been on. Can you remember how many times I picked him to go home just because I didn't think America would keep him in? Well they've stuck by him and got him to the final 3. And he's gotten nothing but better with each week. And, in my opinion, he still did fantastic tonight. But the judges were all singing the same tune as me. SONG SELECTION. Sure, he only picked one song. But it's his style of music that just doesn't ring true with the masses. It's great to hear this guy sing every week because he CAN sing. As Paula said, he's "one crazy funky white boy." (then again she also said "You are in excellent voice" Make sense of that!) Even when Clive tries to throw Elliott a bone and lets him sing the POWER BALLAD "Open Arms" from one of the greatest bands ever (I agree Randy), it just seems off. Didn't help that Elliott screwed up the lyrics to the chorus. But he kept going without skipping a beat. I thought he did well on all 3 songs. But the tunes that make Elliott who he is just won't make him an idol. And that's a shame, because he's done so well! But at least he stayed true to himself. And who knows? Maybe America will vote him through for that! If there's any larger testament I can give to Elliott, it's that I went through this whole recap of him without calling him Mr. Tumnus (ok, so I called him a fawn. That doesn't count!). He's come a long way since those awkward early stages of this competition. Good Job TUMNUS!

Katharine McPhee

The Talent Came Back

• Song #1: "I Believe I Can Fly" - R. Kelly (Clive, seriously, quit your job!)
• Song #2: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" - Harold Arlen/E.Y. Harburg (Simon's Pick)
• Song #3: "I Ain't Got Nothing But the Blues" - Duke Ellington/Don George/Larry Fotin(e)

If we hadn't had enough Scott Savol flashbacks to endure during season 5, Clive Davis makes us relive one more with picking an opus by pedaphile R. Kelly. He may as well have picked "Trapped in the Closet - Chapter 36B.3" (If you haven't heard the Trapped in the Closet Saga by R. Kelly yet, you are totally missing out!) Can't say much more about this than the judges did. She totally oversang it. But, how can you NOT oversing an R. Kelly song? R. Kelly's whole career is BASED on the concept of OVERSINGOLOGY! I guess there were tiny moments of brilliance as Simon alluded to, but clearly she saved her good stuff for her next performances.

There's no denying that "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was absotooooootely fannnnnntastic. Quite possibly the best performance of the Season (as Simon alluded to). But let me get into some conspiracy theories here. Did anyone notice how short some of the performances were tonight? Maybe the contestants had a choice how to break up the timings of the songs (as Kat's song #3 was quite short) but it seemed like she was able to sing the ENTIRE "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" for the full effect and complete stupifying of the crowd. And Kat returned to her knees to give the performance. It was novel the first time, this time it got a little eyeroll from me. And the lights dimmed, we got a Bo Bice-like Acoustic beginning, slowly brought in the band, and zoomed in on Kat's lovely face. COME ON!!!!! What IS this? It just seemed to be a rigged performance to me....and it didn't help that Simon picked the song. But like I said, it was still an amazing performance and showed why we loved Katharine in the first place. This girl has got PIPES! But I just think that the producers gave Katharine some extra attention to make the performance a little MORE special. All of this to ensure her spot in the final 2 with Taylor.

As for song #3. I loved it. I have no idea what the judges were talking about. She looked sexy, she had on leather boots and she sang the hell out of that bluesy ditty. And it was a very SHORT song, which kinda made me feel better about her getting so much time for song#2. Simon, kinda incriminated himself by revisiting HIS song pick for her to try and get America to REMEMBER THAT PERFORMANCE! (hint hint anyone??) Hell it worked for me, I voted for her again! But I would've anyway. GOOD JOB KAT!

Taylor Hicks

Balancing the Two Taylors

• Song #1 - "Dancing in the Dark" - Bruce Springsteen
• Song #2 - "You Are So Beautiful" - Joe Cocker/Billy Preston (Randy's Pick, hell it was MY pick!)
• Song #3 - "Try a Little Tenderness" - Otis Reading

I'm all about revisiting my former blogs when I totally call stuff. Well, here we go kids! Last Wednesday's Blog:

"The judges will probably pick one, and He'll probably pick one. For the one he picks, he has to find a balance where he can showcase his talent, but also unleash his inner Taylor. "

Well, tonight, we saw Taylor find the balance! The Wild and Crazy Taylor was Balanced by calm collected DENIRO HICKS and we got ourselves one hell of a trifecta of tunes. Apparently Clive put a special call into Springsteen to get permission to sing "Dancing in the Dark." Good thing he did. Boy, what a good time that was. SURE, he mimicked the video that made Courteney Cox famous (which, in turn, led us to one of the greatest sitcoms ever!) by pulling Paula up onto the stage extension. But who out there didn't LOVE that? (besides Simon?) It was awesome! And the best part was, usually Taylor would resort to not putting his all into the vocals on these up tempo tunes. But I saw the REAL taylor coming out in this one. And I was loving every minute of it!

With "You Are So Beautiful," we have to dig up ANOTHER Results show Blog of mine when we were discussing the "greatest love songs of all time":

"Hmmmm Greatest love songs of all time. Anyone want to put bets that Taylor chooses this week to whip out some Joe Cocker and sing "You Are So Beautiful?" "

So, he didn't do it on Love Songs week. HE SHOULD'VE!!!! And I think Randy agreed with me. Taylor is like Joe Cocker 2.0. I shouldn't say that. Taylor is NO Joe Cocker....but he's got the same mannerisms and the raspy voice. So we finally got him to sing it. I'll admit it, when I thought Taylor would do the tune a few weeks back, I downloaded the ditty on itunes. And as I was listening, I started thinking "man....this song may quite possibly have the least amount of lyrics EVER!!!!" And then I started to doubt that Taylor would actually perform it. But for some reason, with that song, it just doesn't matter. It's such a simple yet "beautiful" (no pun intended) song. And Taylor really did it up nice. Probably a wise choice that he didn't try to do a carbon copy of Cocker's version. When Joe gets to those high notes, he kinda just screams them in a whisper. It works on the recording and for Joe Cocker. But Taylor is in a SINGING competition. So Kudos to HICKS on this one!

Song #3? Who doesn't love a little Otis Reading to cap off the night? When I heard a couple hours before the show (too late for a preview blog!) that Taylor was going to do "Try a Little Tenderness" I couldn't have picked a better song to showcase Taylor. And the best part was Taylor picked it himself (even though Paula tried to steal credit for it). This tune was almost WRITTEN to showcase the 2 Taylors! So needless to say from my quote (referenced above) from last week's blog, Taylor needed to pick a song that shows a healthy balance of Crazy and Talented Taylor.....HE DID IT! It was outstanding. Apart from Simon criticizing the ending of the tune, he was on board too. How could he not be? He's already crowned him winner. America loves that Grey Haired wonder this year. He may not go on to sell millions of albums, but it's been sure fun to watch him perform every week! And we may get to see One crazy funky WHITE boy finally win American Idol! whoops! I think I was supposed to just suggest what I wanted to say without saying it. That's very UN-PC of me. Well, hey if PAULA can say it, why Can't I? She defines what is PC, doesn't she? I mean, she talked on Live television about taping some of her female anatomy to her blouse with double-stick tape! (oh NOW I get PC!) Anything goes after that folks! Sorry!

So there's not much to say here that I haven't already said. I think this week is pretty straight forward. If it doesn't go this way, I will genuinely be surprised (well...that is...until I go read dialidol.com right after I post this).

Bottom 2: Get Real!
Eliminated From Competition: Elliott Yamin. I've said it time and time again, but it may be time to get out your magic flute, cut your hair down to reveal your little horns on your head....take your shoes off and let your hooves breathe....and trot your way back to Narnia to be in service to the Castle of the 4 Thrones. Lucy misses you!

Well that's it kids. We'll know tomorrow who is partaking in the less than anticipated Season Finale this year. I'll admit it, I'm already having conflicted feelings about watching the Lost finale over Idol next wednesday, even though Idol is LIVE. At least Idol is on from 8-10 and Lost is 9-11, so I can work some TiVo magic...somehow!

But this reminds me. As an early warning, due to an intense night of TV watching on May 24th, blogs will most definitely be delayed the following day (or even maybe the day after that! sorry!!!) But hold on to hope. I've been known to pull writing miracles before. Just setting expectations for my impossible situation as we wind down with all of the shows!

I do love rambling! Anyway, hope you enjoyed this lovely write-up and I'll see you for some more elegant and UN-PC writing tomorrow when we find out who will face off in the Kodak Theater. GOOD NIGHT!